1863 lines
119 KiB
Text
1863 lines
119 KiB
Text
I
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One morning, when Gregor Samsa woke from troubled dreams, he found
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himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin. He lay on his
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armour-like back, and if he lifted his head a little he could see his
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brown belly, slightly domed and divided by arches into stiff sections.
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The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off
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any moment. His many legs, pitifully thin compared with the size of the
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rest of him, waved about helplessly as he looked.
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“What’s happened to me?” he thought. It wasn’t a dream. His room, a
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proper human room although a little too small, lay peacefully between
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its four familiar walls. A collection of textile samples lay spread out
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on the table—Samsa was a travelling salesman—and above it there hung a
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picture that he had recently cut out of an illustrated magazine and
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housed in a nice, gilded frame. It showed a lady fitted out with a fur
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hat and fur boa who sat upright, raising a heavy fur muff that covered
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the whole of her lower arm towards the viewer.
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Gregor then turned to look out the window at the dull weather. Drops of
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rain could be heard hitting the pane, which made him feel quite sad.
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“How about if I sleep a little bit longer and forget all this
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nonsense”, he thought, but that was something he was unable to do
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because he was used to sleeping on his right, and in his present state
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couldn’t get into that position. However hard he threw himself onto his
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right, he always rolled back to where he was. He must have tried it a
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hundred times, shut his eyes so that he wouldn’t have to look at the
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floundering legs, and only stopped when he began to feel a mild, dull
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pain there that he had never felt before.
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“Oh, God”, he thought, “what a strenuous career it is that I’ve chosen!
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Travelling day in and day out. Doing business like this takes much more
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effort than doing your own business at home, and on top of that there’s
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the curse of travelling, worries about making train connections, bad
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and irregular food, contact with different people all the time so that
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you can never get to know anyone or become friendly with them. It can
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all go to Hell!” He felt a slight itch up on his belly; pushed himself
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slowly up on his back towards the headboard so that he could lift his
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head better; found where the itch was, and saw that it was covered with
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lots of little white spots which he didn’t know what to make of; and
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when he tried to feel the place with one of his legs he drew it quickly
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back because as soon as he touched it he was overcome by a cold
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shudder.
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He slid back into his former position. “Getting up early all the time”,
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he thought, “it makes you stupid. You’ve got to get enough sleep. Other
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travelling salesmen live a life of luxury. For instance, whenever I go
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back to the guest house during the morning to copy out the contract,
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these gentlemen are always still sitting there eating their breakfasts.
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I ought to just try that with my boss; I’d get kicked out on the spot.
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But who knows, maybe that would be the best thing for me. If I didn’t
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have my parents to think about I’d have given in my notice a long time
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ago, I’d have gone up to the boss and told him just what I think, tell
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him everything I would, let him know just what I feel. He’d fall right
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off his desk! And it’s a funny sort of business to be sitting up there
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at your desk, talking down at your subordinates from up there,
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especially when you have to go right up close because the boss is hard
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of hearing. Well, there’s still some hope; once I’ve got the money
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together to pay off my parents’ debt to him—another five or six years I
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suppose—that’s definitely what I’ll do. That’s when I’ll make the big
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change. First of all though, I’ve got to get up, my train leaves at
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five.”
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And he looked over at the alarm clock, ticking on the chest of drawers.
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“God in Heaven!” he thought. It was half past six and the hands were
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quietly moving forwards, it was even later than half past, more like
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quarter to seven. Had the alarm clock not rung? He could see from the
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bed that it had been set for four o’clock as it should have been; it
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certainly must have rung. Yes, but was it possible to quietly sleep
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through that furniture-rattling noise? True, he had not slept
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peacefully, but probably all the more deeply because of that. What
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should he do now? The next train went at seven; if he were to catch
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that he would have to rush like mad and the collection of samples was
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still not packed, and he did not at all feel particularly fresh and
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lively. And even if he did catch the train he would not avoid his
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boss’s anger as the office assistant would have been there to see the
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five o’clock train go, he would have put in his report about Gregor’s
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not being there a long time ago. The office assistant was the boss’s
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man, spineless, and with no understanding. What about if he reported
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sick? But that would be extremely strained and suspicious as in five
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years of service Gregor had never once yet been ill. His boss would
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certainly come round with the doctor from the medical insurance
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company, accuse his parents of having a lazy son, and accept the
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doctor’s recommendation not to make any claim as the doctor believed
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that no-one was ever ill but that many were workshy. And what’s more,
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would he have been entirely wrong in this case? Gregor did in fact,
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apart from excessive sleepiness after sleeping for so long, feel
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completely well and even felt much hungrier than usual.
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He was still hurriedly thinking all this through, unable to decide to
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get out of the bed, when the clock struck quarter to seven. There was a
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cautious knock at the door near his head. “Gregor”, somebody called—it
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was his mother—“it’s quarter to seven. Didn’t you want to go
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somewhere?” That gentle voice! Gregor was shocked when he heard his own
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voice answering, it could hardly be recognised as the voice he had had
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before. As if from deep inside him, there was a painful and
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uncontrollable squeaking mixed in with it, the words could be made out
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at first but then there was a sort of echo which made them unclear,
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leaving the hearer unsure whether he had heard properly or not. Gregor
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had wanted to give a full answer and explain everything, but in the
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circumstances contented himself with saying: “Yes, mother, yes,
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thank-you, I’m getting up now.” The change in Gregor’s voice probably
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could not be noticed outside through the wooden door, as his mother was
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satisfied with this explanation and shuffled away. But this short
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conversation made the other members of the family aware that Gregor,
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against their expectations was still at home, and soon his father came
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knocking at one of the side doors, gently, but with his fist. “Gregor,
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Gregor”, he called, “what’s wrong?” And after a short while he called
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again with a warning deepness in his voice: “Gregor! Gregor!” At the
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other side door his sister came plaintively: “Gregor? Aren’t you well?
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Do you need anything?” Gregor answered to both sides: “I’m ready, now”,
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making an effort to remove all the strangeness from his voice by
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enunciating very carefully and putting long pauses between each,
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individual word. His father went back to his breakfast, but his sister
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whispered: “Gregor, open the door, I beg of you.” Gregor, however, had
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no thought of opening the door, and instead congratulated himself for
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his cautious habit, acquired from his travelling, of locking all doors
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at night even when he was at home.
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The first thing he wanted to do was to get up in peace without being
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disturbed, to get dressed, and most of all to have his breakfast. Only
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then would he consider what to do next, as he was well aware that he
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would not bring his thoughts to any sensible conclusions by lying in
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bed. He remembered that he had often felt a slight pain in bed, perhaps
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caused by lying awkwardly, but that had always turned out to be pure
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imagination and he wondered how his imaginings would slowly resolve
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themselves today. He did not have the slightest doubt that the change
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in his voice was nothing more than the first sign of a serious cold,
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which was an occupational hazard for travelling salesmen.
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It was a simple matter to throw off the covers; he only had to blow
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himself up a little and they fell off by themselves. But it became
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difficult after that, especially as he was so exceptionally broad. He
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would have used his arms and his hands to push himself up; but instead
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of them he only had all those little legs continuously moving in
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different directions, and which he was moreover unable to control. If
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he wanted to bend one of them, then that was the first one that would
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stretch itself out; and if he finally managed to do what he wanted with
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that leg, all the others seemed to be set free and would move about
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painfully. “This is something that can’t be done in bed”, Gregor said
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to himself, “so don’t keep trying to do it”.
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The first thing he wanted to do was get the lower part of his body out
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of the bed, but he had never seen this lower part, and could not
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imagine what it looked like; it turned out to be too hard to move; it
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went so slowly; and finally, almost in a frenzy, when he carelessly
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shoved himself forwards with all the force he could gather, he chose
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the wrong direction, hit hard against the lower bedpost, and learned
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from the burning pain he felt that the lower part of his body might
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well, at present, be the most sensitive.
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So then he tried to get the top part of his body out of the bed first,
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carefully turning his head to the side. This he managed quite easily,
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and despite its breadth and its weight, the bulk of his body eventually
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followed slowly in the direction of the head. But when he had at last
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got his head out of the bed and into the fresh air it occurred to him
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that if he let himself fall it would be a miracle if his head were not
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injured, so he became afraid to carry on pushing himself forward the
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same way. And he could not knock himself out now at any price; better
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to stay in bed than lose consciousness.
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It took just as much effort to get back to where he had been earlier,
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but when he lay there sighing, and was once more watching his legs as
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they struggled against each other even harder than before, if that was
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possible, he could think of no way of bringing peace and order to this
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chaos. He told himself once more that it was not possible for him to
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stay in bed and that the most sensible thing to do would be to get free
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of it in whatever way he could at whatever sacrifice. At the same time,
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though, he did not forget to remind himself that calm consideration was
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much better than rushing to desperate conclusions. At times like this
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he would direct his eyes to the window and look out as clearly as he
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could, but unfortunately, even the other side of the narrow street was
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enveloped in morning fog and the view had little confidence or cheer to
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offer him. “Seven o’clock, already”, he said to himself when the clock
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struck again, “seven o’clock, and there’s still a fog like this.” And
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he lay there quietly a while longer, breathing lightly as if he perhaps
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expected the total stillness to bring things back to their real and
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natural state.
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But then he said to himself: “Before it strikes quarter past seven I’ll
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definitely have to have got properly out of bed. And by then somebody
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will have come round from work to ask what’s happened to me as well, as
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they open up at work before seven o’clock.” And so he set himself to
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the task of swinging the entire length of his body out of the bed all
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at the same time. If he succeeded in falling out of bed in this way and
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kept his head raised as he did so he could probably avoid injuring it.
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His back seemed to be quite hard, and probably nothing would happen to
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it falling onto the carpet. His main concern was for the loud noise he
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was bound to make, and which even through all the doors would probably
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raise concern if not alarm. But it was something that had to be risked.
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When Gregor was already sticking half way out of the bed—the new method
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was more of a game than an effort, all he had to do was rock back and
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forth—it occurred to him how simple everything would be if somebody
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came to help him. Two strong people—he had his father and the maid in
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mind—would have been more than enough; they would only have to push
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their arms under the dome of his back, peel him away from the bed, bend
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down with the load and then be patient and careful as he swang over
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onto the floor, where, hopefully, the little legs would find a use.
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Should he really call for help though, even apart from the fact that
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all the doors were locked? Despite all the difficulty he was in, he
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could not suppress a smile at this thought.
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After a while he had already moved so far across that it would have
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been hard for him to keep his balance if he rocked too hard. The time
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was now ten past seven and he would have to make a final decision very
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soon. Then there was a ring at the door of the flat. “That’ll be
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someone from work”, he said to himself, and froze very still, although
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his little legs only became all the more lively as they danced around.
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For a moment everything remained quiet. “They’re not opening the door”,
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Gregor said to himself, caught in some nonsensical hope. But then of
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course, the maid’s firm steps went to the door as ever and opened it.
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Gregor only needed to hear the visitor’s first words of greeting and he
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knew who it was—the chief clerk himself. Why did Gregor have to be the
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only one condemned to work for a company where they immediately became
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highly suspicious at the slightest shortcoming? Were all employees,
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every one of them, louts, was there not one of them who was faithful
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and devoted who would go so mad with pangs of conscience that he
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couldn’t get out of bed if he didn’t spend at least a couple of hours
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in the morning on company business? Was it really not enough to let one
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of the trainees make enquiries—assuming enquiries were even
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necessary—did the chief clerk have to come himself, and did they have
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to show the whole, innocent family that this was so suspicious that
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only the chief clerk could be trusted to have the wisdom to investigate
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it? And more because these thoughts had made him upset than through any
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proper decision, he swang himself with all his force out of the bed.
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There was a loud thump, but it wasn’t really a loud noise. His fall was
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softened a little by the carpet, and Gregor’s back was also more
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elastic than he had thought, which made the sound muffled and not too
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noticeable. He had not held his head carefully enough, though, and hit
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it as he fell; annoyed and in pain, he turned it and rubbed it against
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the carpet.
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“Something’s fallen down in there”, said the chief clerk in the room on
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the left. Gregor tried to imagine whether something of the sort that
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had happened to him today could ever happen to the chief clerk too; you
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had to concede that it was possible. But as if in gruff reply to this
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question, the chief clerk’s firm footsteps in his highly polished boots
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could now be heard in the adjoining room. From the room on his right,
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Gregor’s sister whispered to him to let him know: “Gregor, the chief
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clerk is here.” “Yes, I know”, said Gregor to himself; but without
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daring to raise his voice loud enough for his sister to hear him.
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“Gregor”, said his father now from the room to his left, “the chief
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clerk has come round and wants to know why you didn’t leave on the
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early train. We don’t know what to say to him. And anyway, he wants to
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speak to you personally. So please open up this door. I’m sure he’ll be
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good enough to forgive the untidiness of your room.” Then the chief
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clerk called “Good morning, Mr. Samsa”. “He isn’t well”, said his
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mother to the chief clerk, while his father continued to speak through
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the door. “He isn’t well, please believe me. Why else would Gregor have
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missed a train! The lad only ever thinks about the business. It nearly
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makes me cross the way he never goes out in the evenings; he’s been in
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town for a week now but stayed home every evening. He sits with us in
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the kitchen and just reads the paper or studies train timetables. His
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idea of relaxation is working with his fretsaw. He’s made a little
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frame, for instance, it only took him two or three evenings, you’ll be
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amazed how nice it is; it’s hanging up in his room; you’ll see it as
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soon as Gregor opens the door. Anyway, I’m glad you’re here; we
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wouldn’t have been able to get Gregor to open the door by ourselves;
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he’s so stubborn; and I’m sure he isn’t well, he said this morning that
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he is, but he isn’t.” “I’ll be there in a moment”, said Gregor slowly
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and thoughtfully, but without moving so that he would not miss any word
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of the conversation. “Well I can’t think of any other way of explaining
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it, Mrs. Samsa”, said the chief clerk, “I hope it’s nothing serious.
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But on the other hand, I must say that if we people in commerce ever
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become slightly unwell then, fortunately or unfortunately as you like,
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we simply have to overcome it because of business considerations.” “Can
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the chief clerk come in to see you now then?”, asked his father
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impatiently, knocking at the door again. “No”, said Gregor. In the room
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on his right there followed a painful silence; in the room on his left
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his sister began to cry.
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So why did his sister not go and join the others? She had probably only
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just got up and had not even begun to get dressed. And why was she
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crying? Was it because he had not got up, and had not let the chief
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clerk in, because he was in danger of losing his job and if that
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happened his boss would once more pursue their parents with the same
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demands as before? There was no need to worry about things like that
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yet. Gregor was still there and had not the slightest intention of
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abandoning his family. For the time being he just lay there on the
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carpet, and no-one who knew the condition he was in would seriously
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have expected him to let the chief clerk in. It was only a minor
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discourtesy, and a suitable excuse could easily be found for it later
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on, it was not something for which Gregor could be sacked on the spot.
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And it seemed to Gregor much more sensible to leave him now in peace
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instead of disturbing him with talking at him and crying. But the
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others didn’t know what was happening, they were worried, that would
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excuse their behaviour.
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The chief clerk now raised his voice, “Mr. Samsa”, he called to him,
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“what is wrong? You barricade yourself in your room, give us no more
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than yes or no for an answer, you are causing serious and unnecessary
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concern to your parents and you fail—and I mention this just by the
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way—you fail to carry out your business duties in a way that is quite
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unheard of. I’m speaking here on behalf of your parents and of your
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employer, and really must request a clear and immediate explanation. I
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am astonished, quite astonished. I thought I knew you as a calm and
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sensible person, and now you suddenly seem to be showing off with
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peculiar whims. This morning, your employer did suggest a possible
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reason for your failure to appear, it’s true—it had to do with the
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money that was recently entrusted to you—but I came near to giving him
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my word of honour that that could not be the right explanation. But now
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that I see your incomprehensible stubbornness I no longer feel any wish
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whatsoever to intercede on your behalf. And nor is your position all
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that secure. I had originally intended to say all this to you in
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private, but since you cause me to waste my time here for no good
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reason I don’t see why your parents should not also learn of it. Your
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turnover has been very unsatisfactory of late; I grant you that it’s
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not the time of year to do especially good business, we recognise that;
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but there simply is no time of year to do no business at all, Mr.
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Samsa, we cannot allow there to be.”
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“But Sir”, called Gregor, beside himself and forgetting all else in the
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excitement, “I’ll open up immediately, just a moment. I’m slightly
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unwell, an attack of dizziness, I haven’t been able to get up. I’m
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still in bed now. I’m quite fresh again now, though. I’m just getting
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out of bed. Just a moment. Be patient! It’s not quite as easy as I’d
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thought. I’m quite alright now, though. It’s shocking, what can
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suddenly happen to a person! I was quite alright last night, my parents
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know about it, perhaps better than me, I had a small symptom of it last
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night already. They must have noticed it. I don’t know why I didn’t let
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you know at work! But you always think you can get over an illness
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without staying at home. Please, don’t make my parents suffer! There’s
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no basis for any of the accusations you’re making; nobody’s ever said a
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word to me about any of these things. Maybe you haven’t read the latest
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contracts I sent in. I’ll set off with the eight o’clock train, as
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well, these few hours of rest have given me strength. You don’t need to
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wait, sir; I’ll be in the office soon after you, and please be so good
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as to tell that to the boss and recommend me to him!”
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And while Gregor gushed out these words, hardly knowing what he was
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saying, he made his way over to the chest of drawers—this was easily
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done, probably because of the practise he had already had in bed—where
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he now tried to get himself upright. He really did want to open the
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door, really did want to let them see him and to speak with the chief
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clerk; the others were being so insistent, and he was curious to learn
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what they would say when they caught sight of him. If they were shocked
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then it would no longer be Gregor’s responsibility and he could rest.
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If, however, they took everything calmly he would still have no reason
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to be upset, and if he hurried he really could be at the station for
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eight o’clock. The first few times he tried to climb up on the smooth
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chest of drawers he just slid down again, but he finally gave himself
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one last swing and stood there upright; the lower part of his body was
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in serious pain but he no longer gave any attention to it. Now he let
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himself fall against the back of a nearby chair and held tightly to the
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edges of it with his little legs. By now he had also calmed down, and
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kept quiet so that he could listen to what the chief clerk was saying.
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“Did you understand a word of all that?” the chief clerk asked his
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parents, “surely he’s not trying to make fools of us”. “Oh, God!”
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called his mother, who was already in tears, “he could be seriously ill
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and we’re making him suffer. Grete! Grete!” she then cried. “Mother?”
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his sister called from the other side. They communicated across
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Gregor’s room. “You’ll have to go for the doctor straight away. Gregor
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is ill. Quick, get the doctor. Did you hear the way Gregor spoke just
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now?” “That was the voice of an animal”, said the chief clerk, with a
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calmness that was in contrast with his mother’s screams. “Anna! Anna!”
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his father called into the kitchen through the entrance hall, clapping
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his hands, “get a locksmith here, now!” And the two girls, their skirts
|
||
swishing, immediately ran out through the hall, wrenching open the
|
||
front door of the flat as they went. How had his sister managed to get
|
||
dressed so quickly? There was no sound of the door banging shut again;
|
||
they must have left it open; people often do in homes where something
|
||
awful has happened.
|
||
|
||
Gregor, in contrast, had become much calmer. So they couldn’t
|
||
understand his words any more, although they seemed clear enough to
|
||
him, clearer than before—perhaps his ears had become used to the sound.
|
||
They had realised, though, that there was something wrong with him, and
|
||
were ready to help. The first response to his situation had been
|
||
confident and wise, and that made him feel better. He felt that he had
|
||
been drawn back in among people, and from the doctor and the locksmith
|
||
he expected great and surprising achievements—although he did not
|
||
really distinguish one from the other. Whatever was said next would be
|
||
crucial, so, in order to make his voice as clear as possible, he
|
||
coughed a little, but taking care to do this not too loudly as even
|
||
this might well sound different from the way that a human coughs and he
|
||
was no longer sure he could judge this for himself. Meanwhile, it had
|
||
become very quiet in the next room. Perhaps his parents were sat at the
|
||
table whispering with the chief clerk, or perhaps they were all pressed
|
||
against the door and listening.
|
||
|
||
Gregor slowly pushed his way over to the door with the chair. Once
|
||
there he let go of it and threw himself onto the door, holding himself
|
||
upright against it using the adhesive on the tips of his legs. He
|
||
rested there a little while to recover from the effort involved and
|
||
then set himself to the task of turning the key in the lock with his
|
||
mouth. He seemed, unfortunately, to have no proper teeth—how was he,
|
||
then, to grasp the key?—but the lack of teeth was, of course, made up
|
||
for with a very strong jaw; using the jaw, he really was able to start
|
||
the key turning, ignoring the fact that he must have been causing some
|
||
kind of damage as a brown fluid came from his mouth, flowed over the
|
||
key and dripped onto the floor. “Listen”, said the chief clerk in the
|
||
next room, “he’s turning the key.” Gregor was greatly encouraged by
|
||
this; but they all should have been calling to him, his father and his
|
||
mother too: “Well done, Gregor”, they should have cried, “keep at it,
|
||
keep hold of the lock!” And with the idea that they were all excitedly
|
||
following his efforts, he bit on the key with all his strength, paying
|
||
no attention to the pain he was causing himself. As the key turned
|
||
round he turned around the lock with it, only holding himself upright
|
||
with his mouth, and hung onto the key or pushed it down again with the
|
||
whole weight of his body as needed. The clear sound of the lock as it
|
||
snapped back was Gregor’s sign that he could break his concentration,
|
||
and as he regained his breath he said to himself: “So, I didn’t need
|
||
the locksmith after all”. Then he lay his head on the handle of the
|
||
door to open it completely.
|
||
|
||
Because he had to open the door in this way, it was already wide open
|
||
before he could be seen. He had first to slowly turn himself around one
|
||
of the double doors, and he had to do it very carefully if he did not
|
||
want to fall flat on his back before entering the room. He was still
|
||
occupied with this difficult movement, unable to pay attention to
|
||
anything else, when he heard the chief clerk exclaim a loud “Oh!”,
|
||
which sounded like the soughing of the wind. Now he also saw him—he was
|
||
the nearest to the door—his hand pressed against his open mouth and
|
||
slowly retreating as if driven by a steady and invisible force.
|
||
Gregor’s mother, her hair still dishevelled from bed despite the chief
|
||
clerk’s being there, looked at his father. Then she unfolded her arms,
|
||
took two steps forward towards Gregor and sank down onto the floor into
|
||
her skirts that spread themselves out around her as her head
|
||
disappeared down onto her breast. His father looked hostile, and
|
||
clenched his fists as if wanting to knock Gregor back into his room.
|
||
Then he looked uncertainly round the living room, covered his eyes with
|
||
his hands and wept so that his powerful chest shook.
|
||
|
||
So Gregor did not go into the room, but leant against the inside of the
|
||
other door which was still held bolted in place. In this way only half
|
||
of his body could be seen, along with his head above it which he leant
|
||
over to one side as he peered out at the others. Meanwhile the day had
|
||
become much lighter; part of the endless, grey-black building on the
|
||
other side of the street—which was a hospital—could be seen quite
|
||
clearly with the austere and regular line of windows piercing its
|
||
façade; the rain was still falling, now throwing down large, individual
|
||
droplets which hit the ground one at a time. The washing up from
|
||
breakfast lay on the table; there was so much of it because, for
|
||
Gregor’s father, breakfast was the most important meal of the day and
|
||
he would stretch it out for several hours as he sat reading a number of
|
||
different newspapers. On the wall exactly opposite there was photograph
|
||
of Gregor when he was a lieutenant in the army, his sword in his hand
|
||
and a carefree smile on his face as he called forth respect for his
|
||
uniform and bearing. The door to the entrance hall was open and as the
|
||
front door of the flat was also open he could see onto the landing and
|
||
the stairs where they began their way down below.
|
||
|
||
“Now, then”, said Gregor, well aware that he was the only one to have
|
||
kept calm, “I’ll get dressed straight away now, pack up my samples and
|
||
set off. Will you please just let me leave? You can see”, he said to
|
||
the chief clerk, “that I’m not stubborn and I like to do my job; being
|
||
a commercial traveller is arduous but without travelling I couldn’t
|
||
earn my living. So where are you going, in to the office? Yes? Will you
|
||
report everything accurately, then? It’s quite possible for someone to
|
||
be temporarily unable to work, but that’s just the right time to
|
||
remember what’s been achieved in the past and consider that later on,
|
||
once the difficulty has been removed, he will certainly work with all
|
||
the more diligence and concentration. You’re well aware that I’m
|
||
seriously in debt to our employer as well as having to look after my
|
||
parents and my sister, so that I’m trapped in a difficult situation,
|
||
but I will work my way out of it again. Please don’t make things any
|
||
harder for me than they are already, and don’t take sides against me at
|
||
the office. I know that nobody likes the travellers. They think we earn
|
||
an enormous wage as well as having a soft time of it. That’s just
|
||
prejudice but they have no particular reason to think better of it. But
|
||
you, sir, you have a better overview than the rest of the staff, in
|
||
fact, if I can say this in confidence, a better overview than the boss
|
||
himself—it’s very easy for a businessman like him to make mistakes
|
||
about his employees and judge them more harshly than he should. And
|
||
you’re also well aware that we travellers spend almost the whole year
|
||
away from the office, so that we can very easily fall victim to gossip
|
||
and chance and groundless complaints, and it’s almost impossible to
|
||
defend yourself from that sort of thing, we don’t usually even hear
|
||
about them, or if at all it’s when we arrive back home exhausted from a
|
||
trip, and that’s when we feel the harmful effects of what’s been going
|
||
on without even knowing what caused them. Please, don’t go away, at
|
||
least first say something to show that you grant that I’m at least
|
||
partly right!”
|
||
|
||
But the chief clerk had turned away as soon as Gregor had started to
|
||
speak, and, with protruding lips, only stared back at him over his
|
||
trembling shoulders as he left. He did not keep still for a moment
|
||
while Gregor was speaking, but moved steadily towards the door without
|
||
taking his eyes off him. He moved very gradually, as if there had been
|
||
some secret prohibition on leaving the room. It was only when he had
|
||
reached the entrance hall that he made a sudden movement, drew his foot
|
||
from the living room, and rushed forward in a panic. In the hall, he
|
||
stretched his right hand far out towards the stairway as if out there,
|
||
there were some supernatural force waiting to save him.
|
||
|
||
Gregor realised that it was out of the question to let the chief clerk
|
||
go away in this mood if his position in the firm was not to be put into
|
||
extreme danger. That was something his parents did not understand very
|
||
well; over the years, they had become convinced that this job would
|
||
provide for Gregor for his entire life, and besides, they had so much
|
||
to worry about at present that they had lost sight of any thought for
|
||
the future. Gregor, though, did think about the future. The chief clerk
|
||
had to be held back, calmed down, convinced and finally won over; the
|
||
future of Gregor and his family depended on it! If only his sister were
|
||
here! She was clever; she was already in tears while Gregor was still
|
||
lying peacefully on his back. And the chief clerk was a lover of women,
|
||
surely she could persuade him; she would close the front door in the
|
||
entrance hall and talk him out of his shocked state. But his sister was
|
||
not there, Gregor would have to do the job himself. And without
|
||
considering that he still was not familiar with how well he could move
|
||
about in his present state, or that his speech still might not—or
|
||
probably would not—be understood, he let go of the door; pushed himself
|
||
through the opening; tried to reach the chief clerk on the landing who,
|
||
ridiculously, was holding on to the banister with both hands; but
|
||
Gregor fell immediately over and, with a little scream as he sought
|
||
something to hold onto, landed on his numerous little legs. Hardly had
|
||
that happened than, for the first time that day, he began to feel
|
||
alright with his body; the little legs had the solid ground under them;
|
||
to his pleasure, they did exactly as he told them; they were even
|
||
making the effort to carry him where he wanted to go; and he was soon
|
||
believing that all his sorrows would soon be finally at an end. He held
|
||
back the urge to move but swayed from side to side as he crouched there
|
||
on the floor. His mother was not far away in front of him and seemed,
|
||
at first, quite engrossed in herself, but then she suddenly jumped up
|
||
with her arms outstretched and her fingers spread shouting: “Help, for
|
||
pity’s sake, Help!” The way she held her head suggested she wanted to
|
||
see Gregor better, but the unthinking way she was hurrying backwards
|
||
showed that she did not; she had forgotten that the table was behind
|
||
her with all the breakfast things on it; when she reached the table she
|
||
sat quickly down on it without knowing what she was doing; without even
|
||
seeming to notice that the coffee pot had been knocked over and a gush
|
||
of coffee was pouring down onto the carpet.
|
||
|
||
“Mother, mother”, said Gregor gently, looking up at her. He had
|
||
completely forgotten the chief clerk for the moment, but could not help
|
||
himself snapping in the air with his jaws at the sight of the flow of
|
||
coffee. That set his mother screaming anew, she fled from the table and
|
||
into the arms of his father as he rushed towards her. Gregor, though,
|
||
had no time to spare for his parents now; the chief clerk had already
|
||
reached the stairs; with his chin on the banister, he looked back for
|
||
the last time. Gregor made a run for him; he wanted to be sure of
|
||
reaching him; the chief clerk must have expected something, as he leapt
|
||
down several steps at once and disappeared; his shouts resounding all
|
||
around the staircase. The flight of the chief clerk seemed,
|
||
unfortunately, to put Gregor’s father into a panic as well. Until then
|
||
he had been relatively self controlled, but now, instead of running
|
||
after the chief clerk himself, or at least not impeding Gregor as he
|
||
ran after him, Gregor’s father seized the chief clerk’s stick in his
|
||
right hand (the chief clerk had left it behind on a chair, along with
|
||
his hat and overcoat), picked up a large newspaper from the table with
|
||
his left, and used them to drive Gregor back into his room, stamping
|
||
his foot at him as he went. Gregor’s appeals to his father were of no
|
||
help, his appeals were simply not understood, however much he humbly
|
||
turned his head his father merely stamped his foot all the harder.
|
||
Across the room, despite the chilly weather, Gregor’s mother had pulled
|
||
open a window, leant far out of it and pressed her hands to her face. A
|
||
strong draught of air flew in from the street towards the stairway, the
|
||
curtains flew up, the newspapers on the table fluttered and some of
|
||
them were blown onto the floor. Nothing would stop Gregor’s father as
|
||
he drove him back, making hissing noises at him like a wild man. Gregor
|
||
had never had any practice in moving backwards and was only able to go
|
||
very slowly. If Gregor had only been allowed to turn round he would
|
||
have been back in his room straight away, but he was afraid that if he
|
||
took the time to do that his father would become impatient, and there
|
||
was the threat of a lethal blow to his back or head from the stick in
|
||
his father’s hand any moment. Eventually, though, Gregor realised that
|
||
he had no choice as he saw, to his disgust, that he was quite incapable
|
||
of going backwards in a straight line; so he began, as quickly as
|
||
possible and with frequent anxious glances at his father, to turn
|
||
himself round. It went very slowly, but perhaps his father was able to
|
||
see his good intentions as he did nothing to hinder him, in fact now
|
||
and then he used the tip of his stick to give directions from a
|
||
distance as to which way to turn. If only his father would stop that
|
||
unbearable hissing! It was making Gregor quite confused. When he had
|
||
nearly finished turning round, still listening to that hissing, he made
|
||
a mistake and turned himself back a little the way he had just come. He
|
||
was pleased when he finally had his head in front of the doorway, but
|
||
then saw that it was too narrow, and his body was too broad to get
|
||
through it without further difficulty. In his present mood, it
|
||
obviously did not occur to his father to open the other of the double
|
||
doors so that Gregor would have enough space to get through. He was
|
||
merely fixed on the idea that Gregor should be got back into his room
|
||
as quickly as possible. Nor would he ever have allowed Gregor the time
|
||
to get himself upright as preparation for getting through the doorway.
|
||
What he did, making more noise than ever, was to drive Gregor forwards
|
||
all the harder as if there had been nothing in the way; it sounded to
|
||
Gregor as if there was now more than one father behind him; it was not
|
||
a pleasant experience, and Gregor pushed himself into the doorway
|
||
without regard for what might happen. One side of his body lifted
|
||
itself, he lay at an angle in the doorway, one flank scraped on the
|
||
white door and was painfully injured, leaving vile brown flecks on it,
|
||
soon he was stuck fast and would not have been able to move at all by
|
||
himself, the little legs along one side hung quivering in the air while
|
||
those on the other side were pressed painfully against the ground. Then
|
||
his father gave him a hefty shove from behind which released him from
|
||
where he was held and sent him flying, and heavily bleeding, deep into
|
||
his room. The door was slammed shut with the stick, then, finally, all
|
||
was quiet.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
II
|
||
|
||
|
||
It was not until it was getting dark that evening that Gregor awoke
|
||
from his deep and coma-like sleep. He would have woken soon afterwards
|
||
anyway even if he hadn’t been disturbed, as he had had enough sleep and
|
||
felt fully rested. But he had the impression that some hurried steps
|
||
and the sound of the door leading into the front room being carefully
|
||
shut had woken him. The light from the electric street lamps shone
|
||
palely here and there onto the ceiling and tops of the furniture, but
|
||
down below, where Gregor was, it was dark. He pushed himself over to
|
||
the door, feeling his way clumsily with his antennae—of which he was
|
||
now beginning to learn the value—in order to see what had been
|
||
happening there. The whole of his left side seemed like one, painfully
|
||
stretched scar, and he limped badly on his two rows of legs. One of the
|
||
legs had been badly injured in the events of that morning—it was nearly
|
||
a miracle that only one of them had been—and dragged along lifelessly.
|
||
|
||
It was only when he had reached the door that he realised what it
|
||
actually was that had drawn him over to it; it was the smell of
|
||
something to eat. By the door there was a dish filled with sweetened
|
||
milk with little pieces of white bread floating in it. He was so
|
||
pleased he almost laughed, as he was even hungrier than he had been
|
||
that morning, and immediately dipped his head into the milk, nearly
|
||
covering his eyes with it. But he soon drew his head back again in
|
||
disappointment; not only did the pain in his tender left side make it
|
||
difficult to eat the food—he was only able to eat if his whole body
|
||
worked together as a snuffling whole—but the milk did not taste at all
|
||
nice. Milk like this was normally his favourite drink, and his sister
|
||
had certainly left it there for him because of that, but he turned,
|
||
almost against his own will, away from the dish and crawled back into
|
||
the centre of the room.
|
||
|
||
Through the crack in the door, Gregor could see that the gas had been
|
||
lit in the living room. His father at this time would normally be sat
|
||
with his evening paper, reading it out in a loud voice to Gregor’s
|
||
mother, and sometimes to his sister, but there was now not a sound to
|
||
be heard. Gregor’s sister would often write and tell him about this
|
||
reading, but maybe his father had lost the habit in recent times. It
|
||
was so quiet all around too, even though there must have been somebody
|
||
in the flat. “What a quiet life it is the family lead”, said Gregor to
|
||
himself, and, gazing into the darkness, felt a great pride that he was
|
||
able to provide a life like that in such a nice home for his sister and
|
||
parents. But what now, if all this peace and wealth and comfort should
|
||
come to a horrible and frightening end? That was something that Gregor
|
||
did not want to think about too much, so he started to move about,
|
||
crawling up and down the room.
|
||
|
||
Once during that long evening, the door on one side of the room was
|
||
opened very slightly and hurriedly closed again; later on the door on
|
||
the other side did the same; it seemed that someone needed to enter the
|
||
room but thought better of it. Gregor went and waited immediately by
|
||
the door, resolved either to bring the timorous visitor into the room
|
||
in some way or at least to find out who it was; but the door was opened
|
||
no more that night and Gregor waited in vain. The previous morning
|
||
while the doors were locked everyone had wanted to get in there to him,
|
||
but now, now that he had opened up one of the doors and the other had
|
||
clearly been unlocked some time during the day, no-one came, and the
|
||
keys were in the other sides.
|
||
|
||
It was not until late at night that the gaslight in the living room was
|
||
put out, and now it was easy to see that his parents and sister had
|
||
stayed awake all that time, as they all could be distinctly heard as
|
||
they went away together on tip-toe. It was clear that no-one would come
|
||
into Gregor’s room any more until morning; that gave him plenty of time
|
||
to think undisturbed about how he would have to re-arrange his life.
|
||
For some reason, the tall, empty room where he was forced to remain
|
||
made him feel uneasy as he lay there flat on the floor, even though he
|
||
had been living in it for five years. Hardly aware of what he was doing
|
||
other than a slight feeling of shame, he hurried under the couch. It
|
||
pressed down on his back a little, and he was no longer able to lift
|
||
his head, but he nonetheless felt immediately at ease and his only
|
||
regret was that his body was too broad to get it all underneath.
|
||
|
||
He spent the whole night there. Some of the time he passed in a light
|
||
sleep, although he frequently woke from it in alarm because of his
|
||
hunger, and some of the time was spent in worries and vague hopes
|
||
which, however, always led to the same conclusion: for the time being
|
||
he must remain calm, he must show patience and the greatest
|
||
consideration so that his family could bear the unpleasantness that he,
|
||
in his present condition, was forced to impose on them.
|
||
|
||
Gregor soon had the opportunity to test the strength of his decisions,
|
||
as early the next morning, almost before the night had ended, his
|
||
sister, nearly fully dressed, opened the door from the front room and
|
||
looked anxiously in. She did not see him straight away, but when she
|
||
did notice him under the couch—he had to be somewhere, for God’s sake,
|
||
he couldn’t have flown away—she was so shocked that she lost control of
|
||
herself and slammed the door shut again from outside. But she seemed to
|
||
regret her behaviour, as she opened the door again straight away and
|
||
came in on tip-toe as if entering the room of someone seriously ill or
|
||
even of a stranger. Gregor had pushed his head forward, right to the
|
||
edge of the couch, and watched her. Would she notice that he had left
|
||
the milk as it was, realise that it was not from any lack of hunger and
|
||
bring him in some other food that was more suitable? If she didn’t do
|
||
it herself he would rather go hungry than draw her attention to it,
|
||
although he did feel a terrible urge to rush forward from under the
|
||
couch, throw himself at his sister’s feet and beg her for something
|
||
good to eat. However, his sister noticed the full dish immediately and
|
||
looked at it and the few drops of milk splashed around it with some
|
||
surprise. She immediately picked it up—using a rag, not her bare
|
||
hands—and carried it out. Gregor was extremely curious as to what she
|
||
would bring in its place, imagining the wildest possibilities, but he
|
||
never could have guessed what his sister, in her goodness, actually did
|
||
bring. In order to test his taste, she brought him a whole selection of
|
||
things, all spread out on an old newspaper. There were old, half-rotten
|
||
vegetables; bones from the evening meal, covered in white sauce that
|
||
had gone hard; a few raisins and almonds; some cheese that Gregor had
|
||
declared inedible two days before; a dry roll and some bread spread
|
||
with butter and salt. As well as all that she had poured some water
|
||
into the dish, which had probably been permanently set aside for
|
||
Gregor’s use, and placed it beside them. Then, out of consideration for
|
||
Gregor’s feelings, as she knew that he would not eat in front of her,
|
||
she hurried out again and even turned the key in the lock so that
|
||
Gregor would know he could make things as comfortable for himself as he
|
||
liked. Gregor’s little legs whirred, at last he could eat. What’s more,
|
||
his injuries must already have completely healed as he found no
|
||
difficulty in moving. This amazed him, as more than a month earlier he
|
||
had cut his finger slightly with a knife, he thought of how his finger
|
||
had still hurt the day before yesterday. “Am I less sensitive than I
|
||
used to be, then?”, he thought, and was already sucking greedily at the
|
||
cheese which had immediately, almost compellingly, attracted him much
|
||
more than the other foods on the newspaper. Quickly one after another,
|
||
his eyes watering with pleasure, he consumed the cheese, the vegetables
|
||
and the sauce; the fresh foods, on the other hand, he didn’t like at
|
||
all, and even dragged the things he did want to eat a little way away
|
||
from them because he couldn’t stand the smell. Long after he had
|
||
finished eating and lay lethargic in the same place, his sister slowly
|
||
turned the key in the lock as a sign to him that he should withdraw. He
|
||
was immediately startled, although he had been half asleep, and he
|
||
hurried back under the couch. But he needed great self-control to stay
|
||
there even for the short time that his sister was in the room, as
|
||
eating so much food had rounded out his body a little and he could
|
||
hardly breathe in that narrow space. Half suffocating, he watched with
|
||
bulging eyes as his sister unselfconsciously took a broom and swept up
|
||
the left-overs, mixing them in with the food he had not even touched at
|
||
all as if it could not be used any more. She quickly dropped it all
|
||
into a bin, closed it with its wooden lid, and carried everything out.
|
||
She had hardly turned her back before Gregor came out again from under
|
||
the couch and stretched himself.
|
||
|
||
This was how Gregor received his food each day now, once in the morning
|
||
while his parents and the maid were still asleep, and the second time
|
||
after everyone had eaten their meal at midday as his parents would
|
||
sleep for a little while then as well, and Gregor’s sister would send
|
||
the maid away on some errand. Gregor’s father and mother certainly did
|
||
not want him to starve either, but perhaps it would have been more than
|
||
they could stand to have any more experience of his feeding than being
|
||
told about it, and perhaps his sister wanted to spare them what
|
||
distress she could as they were indeed suffering enough.
|
||
|
||
It was impossible for Gregor to find out what they had told the doctor
|
||
and the locksmith that first morning to get them out of the flat. As
|
||
nobody could understand him, nobody, not even his sister, thought that
|
||
he could understand them, so he had to be content to hear his sister’s
|
||
sighs and appeals to the saints as she moved about his room. It was
|
||
only later, when she had become a little more used to everything—there
|
||
was, of course, no question of her ever becoming fully used to the
|
||
situation—that Gregor would sometimes catch a friendly comment, or at
|
||
least a comment that could be construed as friendly. “He’s enjoyed his
|
||
dinner today”, she might say when he had diligently cleared away all
|
||
the food left for him, or if he left most of it, which slowly became
|
||
more and more frequent, she would often say, sadly, “now everything’s
|
||
just been left there again”.
|
||
|
||
Although Gregor wasn’t able to hear any news directly he did listen to
|
||
much of what was said in the next rooms, and whenever he heard anyone
|
||
speaking he would scurry straight to the appropriate door and press his
|
||
whole body against it. There was seldom any conversation, especially at
|
||
first, that was not about him in some way, even if only in secret. For
|
||
two whole days, all the talk at every mealtime was about what they
|
||
should do now; but even between meals they spoke about the same subject
|
||
as there were always at least two members of the family at home—nobody
|
||
wanted to be at home by themselves and it was out of the question to
|
||
leave the flat entirely empty. And on the very first day the maid had
|
||
fallen to her knees and begged Gregor’s mother to let her go without
|
||
delay. It was not very clear how much she knew of what had happened but
|
||
she left within a quarter of an hour, tearfully thanking Gregor’s
|
||
mother for her dismissal as if she had done her an enormous service.
|
||
She even swore emphatically not to tell anyone the slightest about what
|
||
had happened, even though no-one had asked that of her.
|
||
|
||
Now Gregor’s sister also had to help his mother with the cooking;
|
||
although that was not so much bother as no-one ate very much. Gregor
|
||
often heard how one of them would unsuccessfully urge another to eat,
|
||
and receive no more answer than “no thanks, I’ve had enough” or
|
||
something similar. No-one drank very much either. His sister would
|
||
sometimes ask his father whether he would like a beer, hoping for the
|
||
chance to go and fetch it herself. When his father then said nothing
|
||
she would add, so that he would not feel selfish, that she could send
|
||
the housekeeper for it, but then his father would close the matter with
|
||
a big, loud “No”, and no more would be said.
|
||
|
||
Even before the first day had come to an end, his father had explained
|
||
to Gregor’s mother and sister what their finances and prospects were.
|
||
Now and then he stood up from the table and took some receipt or
|
||
document from the little cash box he had saved from his business when
|
||
it had collapsed five years earlier. Gregor heard how he opened the
|
||
complicated lock and then closed it again after he had taken the item
|
||
he wanted. What he heard his father say was some of the first good news
|
||
that Gregor heard since he had first been incarcerated in his room. He
|
||
had thought that nothing at all remained from his father’s business, at
|
||
least he had never told him anything different, and Gregor had never
|
||
asked him about it anyway. Their business misfortune had reduced the
|
||
family to a state of total despair, and Gregor’s only concern at that
|
||
time had been to arrange things so that they could all forget about it
|
||
as quickly as possible. So then he started working especially hard,
|
||
with a fiery vigour that raised him from a junior salesman to a
|
||
travelling representative almost overnight, bringing with it the chance
|
||
to earn money in quite different ways. Gregor converted his success at
|
||
work straight into cash that he could lay on the table at home for the
|
||
benefit of his astonished and delighted family. They had been good
|
||
times and they had never come again, at least not with the same
|
||
splendour, even though Gregor had later earned so much that he was in a
|
||
position to bear the costs of the whole family, and did bear them. They
|
||
had even got used to it, both Gregor and the family, they took the
|
||
money with gratitude and he was glad to provide it, although there was
|
||
no longer much warm affection given in return. Gregor only remained
|
||
close to his sister now. Unlike him, she was very fond of music and a
|
||
gifted and expressive violinist, it was his secret plan to send her to
|
||
the conservatory next year even though it would cause great expense
|
||
that would have to be made up for in some other way. During Gregor’s
|
||
short periods in town, conversation with his sister would often turn to
|
||
the conservatory but it was only ever mentioned as a lovely dream that
|
||
could never be realised. Their parents did not like to hear this
|
||
innocent talk, but Gregor thought about it quite hard and decided he
|
||
would let them know what he planned with a grand announcement of it on
|
||
Christmas day.
|
||
|
||
That was the sort of totally pointless thing that went through his mind
|
||
in his present state, pressed upright against the door and listening.
|
||
There were times when he simply became too tired to continue listening,
|
||
when his head would fall wearily against the door and he would pull it
|
||
up again with a start, as even the slightest noise he caused would be
|
||
heard next door and they would all go silent. “What’s that he’s doing
|
||
now”, his father would say after a while, clearly having gone over to
|
||
the door, and only then would the interrupted conversation slowly be
|
||
taken up again.
|
||
|
||
When explaining things, his father repeated himself several times,
|
||
partly because it was a long time since he had been occupied with these
|
||
matters himself and partly because Gregor’s mother did not understand
|
||
everything the first time. From these repeated explanations Gregor
|
||
learned, to his pleasure, that despite all their misfortunes there was
|
||
still some money available from the old days. It was not a lot, but it
|
||
had not been touched in the meantime and some interest had accumulated.
|
||
Besides that, they had not been using up all the money that Gregor had
|
||
been bringing home every month, keeping only a little for himself, so
|
||
that that, too, had been accumulating. Behind the door, Gregor nodded
|
||
with enthusiasm in his pleasure at this unexpected thrift and caution.
|
||
He could actually have used this surplus money to reduce his father’s
|
||
debt to his boss, and the day when he could have freed himself from
|
||
that job would have come much closer, but now it was certainly better
|
||
the way his father had done things.
|
||
|
||
This money, however, was certainly not enough to enable the family to
|
||
live off the interest; it was enough to maintain them for, perhaps, one
|
||
or two years, no more. That’s to say, it was money that should not
|
||
really be touched but set aside for emergencies; money to live on had
|
||
to be earned. His father was healthy but old, and lacking in self
|
||
confidence. During the five years that he had not been working—the
|
||
first holiday in a life that had been full of strain and no success—he
|
||
had put on a lot of weight and become very slow and clumsy. Would
|
||
Gregor’s elderly mother now have to go and earn money? She suffered
|
||
from asthma and it was a strain for her just to move about the home,
|
||
every other day would be spent struggling for breath on the sofa by the
|
||
open window. Would his sister have to go and earn money? She was still
|
||
a child of seventeen, her life up till then had been very enviable,
|
||
consisting of wearing nice clothes, sleeping late, helping out in the
|
||
business, joining in with a few modest pleasures and most of all
|
||
playing the violin. Whenever they began to talk of the need to earn
|
||
money, Gregor would always first let go of the door and then throw
|
||
himself onto the cool, leather sofa next to it, as he became quite hot
|
||
with shame and regret.
|
||
|
||
He would often lie there the whole night through, not sleeping a wink
|
||
but scratching at the leather for hours on end. Or he might go to all
|
||
the effort of pushing a chair to the window, climbing up onto the sill
|
||
and, propped up in the chair, leaning on the window to stare out of it.
|
||
He had used to feel a great sense of freedom from doing this, but doing
|
||
it now was obviously something more remembered than experienced, as
|
||
what he actually saw in this way was becoming less distinct every day,
|
||
even things that were quite near; he had used to curse the ever-present
|
||
view of the hospital across the street, but now he could not see it at
|
||
all, and if he had not known that he lived in Charlottenstrasse, which
|
||
was a quiet street despite being in the middle of the city, he could
|
||
have thought that he was looking out the window at a barren waste where
|
||
the grey sky and the grey earth mingled inseparably. His observant
|
||
sister only needed to notice the chair twice before she would always
|
||
push it back to its exact position by the window after she had tidied
|
||
up the room, and even left the inner pane of the window open from then
|
||
on.
|
||
|
||
If Gregor had only been able to speak to his sister and thank her for
|
||
all that she had to do for him it would have been easier for him to
|
||
bear it; but as it was it caused him pain. His sister, naturally, tried
|
||
as far as possible to pretend there was nothing burdensome about it,
|
||
and the longer it went on, of course, the better she was able to do so,
|
||
but as time went by Gregor was also able to see through it all so much
|
||
better. It had even become very unpleasant for him, now, whenever she
|
||
entered the room. No sooner had she come in than she would quickly
|
||
close the door as a precaution so that no-one would have to suffer the
|
||
view into Gregor’s room, then she would go straight to the window and
|
||
pull it hurriedly open almost as if she were suffocating. Even if it
|
||
was cold, she would stay at the window breathing deeply for a little
|
||
while. She would alarm Gregor twice a day with this running about and
|
||
noise making; he would stay under the couch shivering the whole while,
|
||
knowing full well that she would certainly have liked to spare him this
|
||
ordeal, but it was impossible for her to be in the same room with him
|
||
with the windows closed.
|
||
|
||
One day, about a month after Gregor’s transformation when his sister no
|
||
longer had any particular reason to be shocked at his appearance, she
|
||
came into the room a little earlier than usual and found him still
|
||
staring out the window, motionless, and just where he would be most
|
||
horrible. In itself, his sister’s not coming into the room would have
|
||
been no surprise for Gregor as it would have been difficult for her to
|
||
immediately open the window while he was still there, but not only did
|
||
she not come in, she went straight back and closed the door behind her,
|
||
a stranger would have thought he had threatened her and tried to bite
|
||
her. Gregor went straight to hide himself under the couch, of course,
|
||
but he had to wait until midday before his sister came back and she
|
||
seemed much more uneasy than usual. It made him realise that she still
|
||
found his appearance unbearable and would continue to do so, she
|
||
probably even had to overcome the urge to flee when she saw the little
|
||
bit of him that protruded from under the couch. One day, in order to
|
||
spare her even this sight, he spent four hours carrying the bedsheet
|
||
over to the couch on his back and arranged it so that he was completely
|
||
covered and his sister would not be able to see him even if she bent
|
||
down. If she did not think this sheet was necessary then all she had to
|
||
do was take it off again, as it was clear enough that it was no
|
||
pleasure for Gregor to cut himself off so completely. She left the
|
||
sheet where it was. Gregor even thought he glimpsed a look of gratitude
|
||
one time when he carefully looked out from under the sheet to see how
|
||
his sister liked the new arrangement.
|
||
|
||
For the first fourteen days, Gregor’s parents could not bring
|
||
themselves to come into the room to see him. He would often hear them
|
||
say how they appreciated all the new work his sister was doing even
|
||
though, before, they had seen her as a girl who was somewhat useless
|
||
and frequently been annoyed with her. But now the two of them, father
|
||
and mother, would often both wait outside the door of Gregor’s room
|
||
while his sister tidied up in there, and as soon as she went out again
|
||
she would have to tell them exactly how everything looked, what Gregor
|
||
had eaten, how he had behaved this time and whether, perhaps, any
|
||
slight improvement could be seen. His mother also wanted to go in and
|
||
visit Gregor relatively soon but his father and sister at first
|
||
persuaded her against it. Gregor listened very closely to all this, and
|
||
approved fully. Later, though, she had to be held back by force, which
|
||
made her call out: “Let me go and see Gregor, he is my unfortunate son!
|
||
Can’t you understand I have to see him?”, and Gregor would think to
|
||
himself that maybe it would be better if his mother came in, not every
|
||
day of course, but one day a week, perhaps; she could understand
|
||
everything much better than his sister who, for all her courage, was
|
||
still just a child after all, and really might not have had an adult’s
|
||
appreciation of the burdensome job she had taken on.
|
||
|
||
Gregor’s wish to see his mother was soon realised. Out of consideration
|
||
for his parents, Gregor wanted to avoid being seen at the window during
|
||
the day, the few square meters of the floor did not give him much room
|
||
to crawl about, it was hard to just lie quietly through the night, his
|
||
food soon stopped giving him any pleasure at all, and so, to entertain
|
||
himself, he got into the habit of crawling up and down the walls and
|
||
ceiling. He was especially fond of hanging from the ceiling; it was
|
||
quite different from lying on the floor; he could breathe more freely;
|
||
his body had a light swing to it; and up there, relaxed and almost
|
||
happy, it might happen that he would surprise even himself by letting
|
||
go of the ceiling and landing on the floor with a crash. But now, of
|
||
course, he had far better control of his body than before and, even
|
||
with a fall as great as that, caused himself no damage. Very soon his
|
||
sister noticed Gregor’s new way of entertaining himself—he had, after
|
||
all, left traces of the adhesive from his feet as he crawled about—and
|
||
got it into her head to make it as easy as possible for him by removing
|
||
the furniture that got in his way, especially the chest of drawers and
|
||
the desk. Now, this was not something that she would be able to do by
|
||
herself; she did not dare to ask for help from her father; the sixteen
|
||
year old maid had carried on bravely since the cook had left but she
|
||
certainly would not have helped in this, she had even asked to be
|
||
allowed to keep the kitchen locked at all times and never to have to
|
||
open the door unless it was especially important; so his sister had no
|
||
choice but to choose some time when Gregor’s father was not there and
|
||
fetch his mother to help her. As she approached the room, Gregor could
|
||
hear his mother express her joy, but once at the door she went silent.
|
||
First, of course, his sister came in and looked round to see that
|
||
everything in the room was alright; and only then did she let her
|
||
mother enter. Gregor had hurriedly pulled the sheet down lower over the
|
||
couch and put more folds into it so that everything really looked as if
|
||
it had just been thrown down by chance. Gregor also refrained, this
|
||
time, from spying out from under the sheet; he gave up the chance to
|
||
see his mother until later and was simply glad that she had come. “You
|
||
can come in, he can’t be seen”, said his sister, obviously leading her
|
||
in by the hand. The old chest of drawers was too heavy for a pair of
|
||
feeble women to be heaving about, but Gregor listened as they pushed it
|
||
from its place, his sister always taking on the heaviest part of the
|
||
work for herself and ignoring her mother’s warnings that she would
|
||
strain herself. This lasted a very long time. After labouring at it for
|
||
fifteen minutes or more his mother said it would be better to leave the
|
||
chest where it was, for one thing it was too heavy for them to get the
|
||
job finished before Gregor’s father got home and leaving it in the
|
||
middle of the room it would be in his way even more, and for another
|
||
thing it wasn’t even sure that taking the furniture away would really
|
||
be any help to him. She thought just the opposite; the sight of the
|
||
bare walls saddened her right to her heart; and why wouldn’t Gregor
|
||
feel the same way about it, he’d been used to this furniture in his
|
||
room for a long time and it would make him feel abandoned to be in an
|
||
empty room like that. Then, quietly, almost whispering as if wanting
|
||
Gregor (whose whereabouts she did not know) to hear not even the tone
|
||
of her voice, as she was convinced that he did not understand her
|
||
words, she added “and by taking the furniture away, won’t it seem like
|
||
we’re showing that we’ve given up all hope of improvement and we’re
|
||
abandoning him to cope for himself? I think it’d be best to leave the
|
||
room exactly the way it was before so that when Gregor comes back to us
|
||
again he’ll find everything unchanged and he’ll be able to forget the
|
||
time in between all the easier”.
|
||
|
||
Hearing these words from his mother made Gregor realise that the lack
|
||
of any direct human communication, along with the monotonous life led
|
||
by the family during these two months, must have made him confused—he
|
||
could think of no other way of explaining to himself why he had
|
||
seriously wanted his room emptied out. Had he really wanted to
|
||
transform his room into a cave, a warm room fitted out with the nice
|
||
furniture he had inherited? That would have let him crawl around
|
||
unimpeded in any direction, but it would also have let him quickly
|
||
forget his past when he had still been human. He had come very close to
|
||
forgetting, and it had only been the voice of his mother, unheard for
|
||
so long, that had shaken him out of it. Nothing should be removed;
|
||
everything had to stay; he could not do without the good influence the
|
||
furniture had on his condition; and if the furniture made it difficult
|
||
for him to crawl about mindlessly that was not a loss but a great
|
||
advantage.
|
||
|
||
His sister, unfortunately, did not agree; she had become used to the
|
||
idea, not without reason, that she was Gregor’s spokesman to his
|
||
parents about the things that concerned him. This meant that his
|
||
mother’s advice now was sufficient reason for her to insist on removing
|
||
not only the chest of drawers and the desk, as she had thought at
|
||
first, but all the furniture apart from the all-important couch. It was
|
||
more than childish perversity, of course, or the unexpected confidence
|
||
she had recently acquired, that made her insist; she had indeed noticed
|
||
that Gregor needed a lot of room to crawl about in, whereas the
|
||
furniture, as far as anyone could see, was of no use to him at all.
|
||
Girls of that age, though, do become enthusiastic about things and feel
|
||
they must get their way whenever they can. Perhaps this was what
|
||
tempted Grete to make Gregor’s situation seem even more shocking than
|
||
it was so that she could do even more for him. Grete would probably be
|
||
the only one who would dare enter a room dominated by Gregor crawling
|
||
about the bare walls by himself.
|
||
|
||
So she refused to let her mother dissuade her. Gregor’s mother already
|
||
looked uneasy in his room, she soon stopped speaking and helped
|
||
Gregor’s sister to get the chest of drawers out with what strength she
|
||
had. The chest of drawers was something that Gregor could do without if
|
||
he had to, but the writing desk had to stay. Hardly had the two women
|
||
pushed the chest of drawers, groaning, out of the room than Gregor
|
||
poked his head out from under the couch to see what he could do about
|
||
it. He meant to be as careful and considerate as he could, but,
|
||
unfortunately, it was his mother who came back first while Grete in the
|
||
next room had her arms round the chest, pushing and pulling at it from
|
||
side to side by herself without, of course, moving it an inch. His
|
||
mother was not used to the sight of Gregor, he might have made her ill,
|
||
so Gregor hurried backwards to the far end of the couch. In his
|
||
startlement, though, he was not able to prevent the sheet at its front
|
||
from moving a little. It was enough to attract his mother’s attention.
|
||
She stood very still, remained there a moment, and then went back out
|
||
to Grete.
|
||
|
||
Gregor kept trying to assure himself that nothing unusual was
|
||
happening, it was just a few pieces of furniture being moved after all,
|
||
but he soon had to admit that the women going to and fro, their little
|
||
calls to each other, the scraping of the furniture on the floor, all
|
||
these things made him feel as if he were being assailed from all sides.
|
||
With his head and legs pulled in against him and his body pressed to
|
||
the floor, he was forced to admit to himself that he could not stand
|
||
all of this much longer. They were emptying his room out; taking away
|
||
everything that was dear to him; they had already taken out the chest
|
||
containing his fretsaw and other tools; now they threatened to remove
|
||
the writing desk with its place clearly worn into the floor, the desk
|
||
where he had done his homework as a business trainee, at high school,
|
||
even while he had been at infant school—he really could not wait any
|
||
longer to see whether the two women’s intentions were good. He had
|
||
nearly forgotten they were there anyway, as they were now too tired to
|
||
say anything while they worked and he could only hear their feet as
|
||
they stepped heavily on the floor.
|
||
|
||
So, while the women were leant against the desk in the other room
|
||
catching their breath, he sallied out, changed direction four times not
|
||
knowing what he should save first before his attention was suddenly
|
||
caught by the picture on the wall—which was already denuded of
|
||
everything else that had been on it—of the lady dressed in copious fur.
|
||
He hurried up onto the picture and pressed himself against its glass,
|
||
it held him firmly and felt good on his hot belly. This picture at
|
||
least, now totally covered by Gregor, would certainly be taken away by
|
||
no-one. He turned his head to face the door into the living room so
|
||
that he could watch the women when they came back.
|
||
|
||
They had not allowed themselves a long rest and came back quite soon;
|
||
Grete had put her arm around her mother and was nearly carrying her.
|
||
“What shall we take now, then?”, said Grete and looked around. Her eyes
|
||
met those of Gregor on the wall. Perhaps only because her mother was
|
||
there, she remained calm, bent her face to her so that she would not
|
||
look round and said, albeit hurriedly and with a tremor in her voice:
|
||
“Come on, let’s go back in the living room for a while?” Gregor could
|
||
see what Grete had in mind, she wanted to take her mother somewhere
|
||
safe and then chase him down from the wall. Well, she could certainly
|
||
try it! He sat unyielding on his picture. He would rather jump at
|
||
Grete’s face.
|
||
|
||
But Grete’s words had made her mother quite worried, she stepped to one
|
||
side, saw the enormous brown patch against the flowers of the
|
||
wallpaper, and before she even realised it was Gregor that she saw
|
||
screamed: “Oh God, oh God!” Arms outstretched, she fell onto the couch
|
||
as if she had given up everything and stayed there immobile. “Gregor!”
|
||
shouted his sister, glowering at him and shaking her fist. That was the
|
||
first word she had spoken to him directly since his transformation. She
|
||
ran into the other room to fetch some kind of smelling salts to bring
|
||
her mother out of her faint; Gregor wanted to help too—he could save
|
||
his picture later, although he stuck fast to the glass and had to pull
|
||
himself off by force; then he, too, ran into the next room as if he
|
||
could advise his sister like in the old days; but he had to just stand
|
||
behind her doing nothing; she was looking into various bottles, he
|
||
startled her when she turned round; a bottle fell to the ground and
|
||
broke; a splinter cut Gregor’s face, some kind of caustic medicine
|
||
splashed all over him; now, without delaying any longer, Grete took
|
||
hold of all the bottles she could and ran with them in to her mother;
|
||
she slammed the door shut with her foot. So now Gregor was shut out
|
||
from his mother, who, because of him, might be near to death; he could
|
||
not open the door if he did not want to chase his sister away, and she
|
||
had to stay with his mother; there was nothing for him to do but wait;
|
||
and, oppressed with anxiety and self-reproach, he began to crawl about,
|
||
he crawled over everything, walls, furniture, ceiling, and finally in
|
||
his confusion as the whole room began to spin around him he fell down
|
||
into the middle of the dinner table.
|
||
|
||
He lay there for a while, numb and immobile, all around him it was
|
||
quiet, maybe that was a good sign. Then there was someone at the door.
|
||
The maid, of course, had locked herself in her kitchen so that Grete
|
||
would have to go and answer it. His father had arrived home. “What’s
|
||
happened?” were his first words; Grete’s appearance must have made
|
||
everything clear to him. She answered him with subdued voice, and
|
||
openly pressed her face into his chest: “Mother’s fainted, but she’s
|
||
better now. Gregor got out.” “Just as I expected”, said his father,
|
||
“just as I always said, but you women wouldn’t listen, would you.” It
|
||
was clear to Gregor that Grete had not said enough and that his father
|
||
took it to mean that something bad had happened, that he was
|
||
responsible for some act of violence. That meant Gregor would now have
|
||
to try to calm his father, as he did not have the time to explain
|
||
things to him even if that had been possible. So he fled to the door of
|
||
his room and pressed himself against it so that his father, when he
|
||
came in from the hall, could see straight away that Gregor had the best
|
||
intentions and would go back into his room without delay, that it would
|
||
not be necessary to drive him back but that they had only to open the
|
||
door and he would disappear.
|
||
|
||
His father, though, was not in the mood to notice subtleties like that;
|
||
“Ah!”, he shouted as he came in, sounding as if he were both angry and
|
||
glad at the same time. Gregor drew his head back from the door and
|
||
lifted it towards his father. He really had not imagined his father the
|
||
way he stood there now; of late, with his new habit of crawling about,
|
||
he had neglected to pay attention to what was going on the rest of the
|
||
flat the way he had done before. He really ought to have expected
|
||
things to have changed, but still, still, was that really his father?
|
||
The same tired man as used to be laying there entombed in his bed when
|
||
Gregor came back from his business trips, who would receive him sitting
|
||
in the armchair in his nightgown when he came back in the evenings; who
|
||
was hardly even able to stand up but, as a sign of his pleasure, would
|
||
just raise his arms and who, on the couple of times a year when they
|
||
went for a walk together on a Sunday or public holiday wrapped up
|
||
tightly in his overcoat between Gregor and his mother, would always
|
||
labour his way forward a little more slowly than them, who were already
|
||
walking slowly for his sake; who would place his stick down carefully
|
||
and, if he wanted to say something would invariably stop and gather his
|
||
companions around him. He was standing up straight enough now; dressed
|
||
in a smart blue uniform with gold buttons, the sort worn by the
|
||
employees at the banking institute; above the high, stiff collar of the
|
||
coat his strong double-chin emerged; under the bushy eyebrows, his
|
||
piercing, dark eyes looked out fresh and alert; his normally unkempt
|
||
white hair was combed down painfully close to his scalp. He took his
|
||
cap, with its gold monogram from, probably, some bank, and threw it in
|
||
an arc right across the room onto the sofa, put his hands in his
|
||
trouser pockets, pushing back the bottom of his long uniform coat, and,
|
||
with look of determination, walked towards Gregor. He probably did not
|
||
even know himself what he had in mind, but nonetheless lifted his feet
|
||
unusually high. Gregor was amazed at the enormous size of the soles of
|
||
his boots, but wasted no time with that—he knew full well, right from
|
||
the first day of his new life, that his father thought it necessary to
|
||
always be extremely strict with him. And so he ran up to his father,
|
||
stopped when his father stopped, scurried forwards again when he moved,
|
||
even slightly. In this way they went round the room several times
|
||
without anything decisive happening, without even giving the impression
|
||
of a chase as everything went so slowly. Gregor remained all this time
|
||
on the floor, largely because he feared his father might see it as
|
||
especially provoking if he fled onto the wall or ceiling. Whatever he
|
||
did, Gregor had to admit that he certainly would not be able to keep up
|
||
this running about for long, as for each step his father took he had to
|
||
carry out countless movements. He became noticeably short of breath,
|
||
even in his earlier life his lungs had not been very reliable. Now, as
|
||
he lurched about in his efforts to muster all the strength he could for
|
||
running he could hardly keep his eyes open; his thoughts became too
|
||
slow for him to think of any other way of saving himself than running;
|
||
he almost forgot that the walls were there for him to use although,
|
||
here, they were concealed behind carefully carved furniture full of
|
||
notches and protrusions—then, right beside him, lightly tossed,
|
||
something flew down and rolled in front of him. It was an apple; then
|
||
another one immediately flew at him; Gregor froze in shock; there was
|
||
no longer any point in running as his father had decided to bombard
|
||
him. He had filled his pockets with fruit from the bowl on the
|
||
sideboard and now, without even taking the time for careful aim, threw
|
||
one apple after another. These little, red apples rolled about on the
|
||
floor, knocking into each other as if they had electric motors. An
|
||
apple thrown without much force glanced against Gregor’s back and slid
|
||
off without doing any harm. Another one however, immediately following
|
||
it, hit squarely and lodged in his back; Gregor wanted to drag himself
|
||
away, as if he could remove the surprising, the incredible pain by
|
||
changing his position; but he felt as if nailed to the spot and spread
|
||
himself out, all his senses in confusion. The last thing he saw was the
|
||
door of his room being pulled open, his sister was screaming, his
|
||
mother ran out in front of her in her blouse (as his sister had taken
|
||
off some of her clothes after she had fainted to make it easier for her
|
||
to breathe), she ran to his father, her skirts unfastened and sliding
|
||
one after another to the ground, stumbling over the skirts she pushed
|
||
herself to his father, her arms around him, uniting herself with him
|
||
totally—now Gregor lost his ability to see anything—her hands behind
|
||
his father’s head begging him to spare Gregor’s life.
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
III
|
||
|
||
|
||
No-one dared to remove the apple lodged in Gregor’s flesh, so it
|
||
remained there as a visible reminder of his injury. He had suffered it
|
||
there for more than a month, and his condition seemed serious enough to
|
||
remind even his father that Gregor, despite his current sad and
|
||
revolting form, was a family member who could not be treated as an
|
||
enemy. On the contrary, as a family there was a duty to swallow any
|
||
revulsion for him and to be patient, just to be patient.
|
||
|
||
Because of his injuries, Gregor had lost much of his mobility—probably
|
||
permanently. He had been reduced to the condition of an ancient invalid
|
||
and it took him long, long minutes to crawl across his room—crawling
|
||
over the ceiling was out of the question—but this deterioration in his
|
||
condition was fully (in his opinion) made up for by the door to the
|
||
living room being left open every evening. He got into the habit of
|
||
closely watching it for one or two hours before it was opened and then,
|
||
lying in the darkness of his room where he could not be seen from the
|
||
living room, he could watch the family in the light of the dinner table
|
||
and listen to their conversation—with everyone’s permission, in a way,
|
||
and thus quite differently from before.
|
||
|
||
They no longer held the lively conversations of earlier times, of
|
||
course, the ones that Gregor always thought about with longing when he
|
||
was tired and getting into the damp bed in some small hotel room. All
|
||
of them were usually very quiet nowadays. Soon after dinner, his father
|
||
would go to sleep in his chair; his mother and sister would urge each
|
||
other to be quiet; his mother, bent deeply under the lamp, would sew
|
||
fancy underwear for a fashion shop; his sister, who had taken a sales
|
||
job, learned shorthand and French in the evenings so that she might be
|
||
able to get a better position later on. Sometimes his father would wake
|
||
up and say to Gregor’s mother “you’re doing so much sewing again
|
||
today!”, as if he did not know that he had been dozing—and then he
|
||
would go back to sleep again while mother and sister would exchange a
|
||
tired grin.
|
||
|
||
With a kind of stubbornness, Gregor’s father refused to take his
|
||
uniform off even at home; while his nightgown hung unused on its peg
|
||
Gregor’s father would slumber where he was, fully dressed, as if always
|
||
ready to serve and expecting to hear the voice of his superior even
|
||
here. The uniform had not been new to start with, but as a result of
|
||
this it slowly became even shabbier despite the efforts of Gregor’s
|
||
mother and sister to look after it. Gregor would often spend the whole
|
||
evening looking at all the stains on this coat, with its gold buttons
|
||
always kept polished and shiny, while the old man in it would sleep,
|
||
highly uncomfortable but peaceful.
|
||
|
||
As soon as it struck ten, Gregor’s mother would speak gently to his
|
||
father to wake him and try to persuade him to go to bed, as he couldn’t
|
||
sleep properly where he was and he really had to get his sleep if he
|
||
was to be up at six to get to work. But since he had been in work he
|
||
had become more obstinate and would always insist on staying longer at
|
||
the table, even though he regularly fell asleep and it was then harder
|
||
than ever to persuade him to exchange the chair for his bed. Then,
|
||
however much mother and sister would importune him with little
|
||
reproaches and warnings he would keep slowly shaking his head for a
|
||
quarter of an hour with his eyes closed and refusing to get up.
|
||
Gregor’s mother would tug at his sleeve, whisper endearments into his
|
||
ear, Gregor’s sister would leave her work to help her mother, but
|
||
nothing would have any effect on him. He would just sink deeper into
|
||
his chair. Only when the two women took him under the arms he would
|
||
abruptly open his eyes, look at them one after the other and say: “What
|
||
a life! This is what peace I get in my old age!” And supported by the
|
||
two women he would lift himself up carefully as if he were carrying the
|
||
greatest load himself, let the women take him to the door, send them
|
||
off and carry on by himself while Gregor’s mother would throw down her
|
||
needle and his sister her pen so that they could run after his father
|
||
and continue being of help to him.
|
||
|
||
Who, in this tired and overworked family, would have had time to give
|
||
more attention to Gregor than was absolutely necessary? The household
|
||
budget became even smaller; so now the maid was dismissed; an enormous,
|
||
thick-boned charwoman with white hair that flapped around her head came
|
||
every morning and evening to do the heaviest work; everything else was
|
||
looked after by Gregor’s mother on top of the large amount of sewing
|
||
work she did. Gregor even learned, listening to the evening
|
||
conversation about what price they had hoped for, that several items of
|
||
jewellery belonging to the family had been sold, even though both
|
||
mother and sister had been very fond of wearing them at functions and
|
||
celebrations. But the loudest complaint was that although the flat was
|
||
much too big for their present circumstances, they could not move out
|
||
of it, there was no imaginable way of transferring Gregor to the new
|
||
address. He could see quite well, though, that there were more reasons
|
||
than consideration for him that made it difficult for them to move, it
|
||
would have been quite easy to transport him in any suitable crate with
|
||
a few air holes in it; the main thing holding the family back from
|
||
their decision to move was much more to do with their total despair,
|
||
and the thought that they had been struck with a misfortune unlike
|
||
anything experienced by anyone else they knew or were related to. They
|
||
carried out absolutely everything that the world expects from poor
|
||
people, Gregor’s father brought bank employees their breakfast, his
|
||
mother sacrificed herself by washing clothes for strangers, his sister
|
||
ran back and forth behind her desk at the behest of the customers, but
|
||
they just did not have the strength to do any more. And the injury in
|
||
Gregor’s back began to hurt as much as when it was new. After they had
|
||
come back from taking his father to bed Gregor’s mother and sister
|
||
would now leave their work where it was and sit close together, cheek
|
||
to cheek; his mother would point to Gregor’s room and say “Close that
|
||
door, Grete”, and then, when he was in the dark again, they would sit
|
||
in the next room and their tears would mingle, or they would simply sit
|
||
there staring dry-eyed at the table.
|
||
|
||
Gregor hardly slept at all, either night or day. Sometimes he would
|
||
think of taking over the family’s affairs, just like before, the next
|
||
time the door was opened; he had long forgotten about his boss and the
|
||
chief clerk, but they would appear again in his thoughts, the salesmen
|
||
and the apprentices, that stupid teaboy, two or three friends from
|
||
other businesses, one of the chambermaids from a provincial hotel, a
|
||
tender memory that appeared and disappeared again, a cashier from a hat
|
||
shop for whom his attention had been serious but too slow,—all of them
|
||
appeared to him, mixed together with strangers and others he had
|
||
forgotten, but instead of helping him and his family they were all of
|
||
them inaccessible, and he was glad when they disappeared. Other times
|
||
he was not at all in the mood to look after his family, he was filled
|
||
with simple rage about the lack of attention he was shown, and although
|
||
he could think of nothing he would have wanted, he made plans of how he
|
||
could get into the pantry where he could take all the things he was
|
||
entitled to, even if he was not hungry. Gregor’s sister no longer
|
||
thought about how she could please him but would hurriedly push some
|
||
food or other into his room with her foot before she rushed out to work
|
||
in the morning and at midday, and in the evening she would sweep it
|
||
away again with the broom, indifferent as to whether it had been eaten
|
||
or—more often than not—had been left totally untouched. She still
|
||
cleared up the room in the evening, but now she could not have been any
|
||
quicker about it. Smears of dirt were left on the walls, here and there
|
||
were little balls of dust and filth. At first, Gregor went into one of
|
||
the worst of these places when his sister arrived as a reproach to her,
|
||
but he could have stayed there for weeks without his sister doing
|
||
anything about it; she could see the dirt as well as he could but she
|
||
had simply decided to leave him to it. At the same time she became
|
||
touchy in a way that was quite new for her and which everyone in the
|
||
family understood—cleaning up Gregor’s room was for her and her alone.
|
||
Gregor’s mother did once thoroughly clean his room, and needed to use
|
||
several bucketfuls of water to do it—although that much dampness also
|
||
made Gregor ill and he lay flat on the couch, bitter and immobile. But
|
||
his mother was to be punished still more for what she had done, as
|
||
hardly had his sister arrived home in the evening than she noticed the
|
||
change in Gregor’s room and, highly aggrieved, ran back into the living
|
||
room where, despite her mothers raised and imploring hands, she broke
|
||
into convulsive tears. Her father, of course, was startled out of his
|
||
chair and the two parents looked on astonished and helpless; then they,
|
||
too, became agitated; Gregor’s father, standing to the right of his
|
||
mother, accused her of not leaving the cleaning of Gregor’s room to his
|
||
sister; from her left, Gregor’s sister screamed at her that she was
|
||
never to clean Gregor’s room again; while his mother tried to draw his
|
||
father, who was beside himself with anger, into the bedroom; his
|
||
sister, quaking with tears, thumped on the table with her small fists;
|
||
and Gregor hissed in anger that no-one had even thought of closing the
|
||
door to save him the sight of this and all its noise.
|
||
|
||
Gregor’s sister was exhausted from going out to work, and looking after
|
||
Gregor as she had done before was even more work for her, but even so
|
||
his mother ought certainly not to have taken her place. Gregor, on the
|
||
other hand, ought not to be neglected. Now, though, the charwoman was
|
||
here. This elderly widow, with a robust bone structure that made her
|
||
able to withstand the hardest of things in her long life, wasn’t really
|
||
repelled by Gregor. Just by chance one day, rather than any real
|
||
curiosity, she opened the door to Gregor’s room and found herself face
|
||
to face with him. He was taken totally by surprise, no-one was chasing
|
||
him but he began to rush to and fro while she just stood there in
|
||
amazement with her hands crossed in front of her. From then on she
|
||
never failed to open the door slightly every evening and morning and
|
||
look briefly in on him. At first she would call to him as she did so
|
||
with words that she probably considered friendly, such as “come on
|
||
then, you old dung-beetle!”, or “look at the old dung-beetle there!”
|
||
Gregor never responded to being spoken to in that way, but just
|
||
remained where he was without moving as if the door had never even been
|
||
opened. If only they had told this charwoman to clean up his room every
|
||
day instead of letting her disturb him for no reason whenever she felt
|
||
like it! One day, early in the morning while a heavy rain struck the
|
||
windowpanes, perhaps indicating that spring was coming, she began to
|
||
speak to him in that way once again. Gregor was so resentful of it that
|
||
he started to move toward her, he was slow and infirm, but it was like
|
||
a kind of attack. Instead of being afraid, the charwoman just lifted up
|
||
one of the chairs from near the door and stood there with her mouth
|
||
open, clearly intending not to close her mouth until the chair in her
|
||
hand had been slammed down into Gregor’s back. “Aren’t you coming any
|
||
closer, then?”, she asked when Gregor turned round again, and she
|
||
calmly put the chair back in the corner.
|
||
|
||
Gregor had almost entirely stopped eating. Only if he happened to find
|
||
himself next to the food that had been prepared for him he might take
|
||
some of it into his mouth to play with it, leave it there a few hours
|
||
and then, more often than not, spit it out again. At first he thought
|
||
it was distress at the state of his room that stopped him eating, but
|
||
he had soon got used to the changes made there. They had got into the
|
||
habit of putting things into this room that they had no room for
|
||
anywhere else, and there were now many such things as one of the rooms
|
||
in the flat had been rented out to three gentlemen. These earnest
|
||
gentlemen—all three of them had full beards, as Gregor learned peering
|
||
through the crack in the door one day—were painfully insistent on
|
||
things’ being tidy. This meant not only in their own room but, since
|
||
they had taken a room in this establishment, in the entire flat and
|
||
especially in the kitchen. Unnecessary clutter was something they could
|
||
not tolerate, especially if it was dirty. They had moreover brought
|
||
most of their own furnishings and equipment with them. For this reason,
|
||
many things had become superfluous which, although they could not be
|
||
sold, the family did not wish to discard. All these things found their
|
||
way into Gregor’s room. The dustbins from the kitchen found their way
|
||
in there too. The charwoman was always in a hurry, and anything she
|
||
couldn’t use for the time being she would just chuck in there. He,
|
||
fortunately, would usually see no more than the object and the hand
|
||
that held it. The woman most likely meant to fetch the things back out
|
||
again when she had time and the opportunity, or to throw everything out
|
||
in one go, but what actually happened was that they were left where
|
||
they landed when they had first been thrown unless Gregor made his way
|
||
through the junk and moved it somewhere else. At first he moved it
|
||
because, with no other room free where he could crawl about, he was
|
||
forced to, but later on he came to enjoy it although moving about in
|
||
that way left him sad and tired to death, and he would remain immobile
|
||
for hours afterwards.
|
||
|
||
The gentlemen who rented the room would sometimes take their evening
|
||
meal at home in the living room that was used by everyone, and so the
|
||
door to this room was often kept closed in the evening. But Gregor
|
||
found it easy to give up having the door open, he had, after all, often
|
||
failed to make use of it when it was open and, without the family
|
||
having noticed it, lain in his room in its darkest corner. One time,
|
||
though, the charwoman left the door to the living room slightly open,
|
||
and it remained open when the gentlemen who rented the room came in in
|
||
the evening and the light was put on. They sat up at the table where,
|
||
formerly, Gregor had taken his meals with his father and mother, they
|
||
unfolded the serviettes and picked up their knives and forks. Gregor’s
|
||
mother immediately appeared in the doorway with a dish of meat and soon
|
||
behind her came his sister with a dish piled high with potatoes. The
|
||
food was steaming, and filled the room with its smell. The gentlemen
|
||
bent over the dishes set in front of them as if they wanted to test the
|
||
food before eating it, and the gentleman in the middle, who seemed to
|
||
count as an authority for the other two, did indeed cut off a piece of
|
||
meat while it was still in its dish, clearly wishing to establish
|
||
whether it was sufficiently cooked or whether it should be sent back to
|
||
the kitchen. It was to his satisfaction, and Gregor’s mother and
|
||
sister, who had been looking on anxiously, began to breathe again and
|
||
smiled.
|
||
|
||
The family themselves ate in the kitchen. Nonetheless, Gregor’s father
|
||
came into the living room before he went into the kitchen, bowed once
|
||
with his cap in his hand and did his round of the table. The gentlemen
|
||
stood as one, and mumbled something into their beards. Then, once they
|
||
were alone, they ate in near perfect silence. It seemed remarkable to
|
||
Gregor that above all the various noises of eating their chewing teeth
|
||
could still be heard, as if they had wanted to show Gregor that you
|
||
need teeth in order to eat and it was not possible to perform anything
|
||
with jaws that are toothless however nice they might be. “I’d like to
|
||
eat something”, said Gregor anxiously, “but not anything like they’re
|
||
eating. They do feed themselves. And here I am, dying!”
|
||
|
||
Throughout all this time, Gregor could not remember having heard the
|
||
violin being played, but this evening it began to be heard from the
|
||
kitchen. The three gentlemen had already finished their meal, the one
|
||
in the middle had produced a newspaper, given a page to each of the
|
||
others, and now they leant back in their chairs reading them and
|
||
smoking. When the violin began playing they became attentive, stood up
|
||
and went on tip-toe over to the door of the hallway where they stood
|
||
pressed against each other. Someone must have heard them in the
|
||
kitchen, as Gregor’s father called out: “Is the playing perhaps
|
||
unpleasant for the gentlemen? We can stop it straight away.” “On the
|
||
contrary”, said the middle gentleman, “would the young lady not like to
|
||
come in and play for us here in the room, where it is, after all, much
|
||
more cosy and comfortable?” “Oh yes, we’d love to”, called back
|
||
Gregor’s father as if he had been the violin player himself. The
|
||
gentlemen stepped back into the room and waited. Gregor’s father soon
|
||
appeared with the music stand, his mother with the music and his sister
|
||
with the violin. She calmly prepared everything for her to begin
|
||
playing; his parents, who had never rented a room out before and
|
||
therefore showed an exaggerated courtesy towards the three gentlemen,
|
||
did not even dare to sit on their own chairs; his father leant against
|
||
the door with his right hand pushed in between two buttons on his
|
||
uniform coat; his mother, though, was offered a seat by one of the
|
||
gentlemen and sat—leaving the chair where the gentleman happened to
|
||
have placed it—out of the way in a corner.
|
||
|
||
His sister began to play; father and mother paid close attention, one
|
||
on each side, to the movements of her hands. Drawn in by the playing,
|
||
Gregor had dared to come forward a little and already had his head in
|
||
the living room. Before, he had taken great pride in how considerate he
|
||
was but now it hardly occurred to him that he had become so thoughtless
|
||
about the others. What’s more, there was now all the more reason to
|
||
keep himself hidden as he was covered in the dust that lay everywhere
|
||
in his room and flew up at the slightest movement; he carried threads,
|
||
hairs, and remains of food about on his back and sides; he was much too
|
||
indifferent to everything now to lay on his back and wipe himself on
|
||
the carpet like he had used to do several times a day. And despite this
|
||
condition, he was not too shy to move forward a little onto the
|
||
immaculate floor of the living room.
|
||
|
||
No-one noticed him, though. The family was totally preoccupied with the
|
||
violin playing; at first, the three gentlemen had put their hands in
|
||
their pockets and come up far too close behind the music stand to look
|
||
at all the notes being played, and they must have disturbed Gregor’s
|
||
sister, but soon, in contrast with the family, they withdrew back to
|
||
the window with their heads sunk and talking to each other at half
|
||
volume, and they stayed by the window while Gregor’s father observed
|
||
them anxiously. It really now seemed very obvious that they had
|
||
expected to hear some beautiful or entertaining violin playing but had
|
||
been disappointed, that they had had enough of the whole performance
|
||
and it was only now out of politeness that they allowed their peace to
|
||
be disturbed. It was especially unnerving, the way they all blew the
|
||
smoke from their cigarettes upwards from their mouth and noses. Yet
|
||
Gregor’s sister was playing so beautifully. Her face was leant to one
|
||
side, following the lines of music with a careful and melancholy
|
||
expression. Gregor crawled a little further forward, keeping his head
|
||
close to the ground so that he could meet her eyes if the chance came.
|
||
Was he an animal if music could captivate him so? It seemed to him that
|
||
he was being shown the way to the unknown nourishment he had been
|
||
yearning for. He was determined to make his way forward to his sister
|
||
and tug at her skirt to show her she might come into his room with her
|
||
violin, as no-one appreciated her playing here as much as he would. He
|
||
never wanted to let her out of his room, not while he lived, anyway;
|
||
his shocking appearance should, for once, be of some use to him; he
|
||
wanted to be at every door of his room at once to hiss and spit at the
|
||
attackers; his sister should not be forced to stay with him, though,
|
||
but stay of her own free will; she would sit beside him on the couch
|
||
with her ear bent down to him while he told her how he had always
|
||
intended to send her to the conservatory, how he would have told
|
||
everyone about it last Christmas—had Christmas really come and gone
|
||
already?—if this misfortune hadn’t got in the way, and refuse to let
|
||
anyone dissuade him from it. On hearing all this, his sister would
|
||
break out in tears of emotion, and Gregor would climb up to her
|
||
shoulder and kiss her neck, which, since she had been going out to
|
||
work, she had kept free without any necklace or collar.
|
||
|
||
“Mr. Samsa!”, shouted the middle gentleman to Gregor’s father,
|
||
pointing, without wasting any more words, with his forefinger at Gregor
|
||
as he slowly moved forward. The violin went silent, the middle of the
|
||
three gentlemen first smiled at his two friends, shaking his head, and
|
||
then looked back at Gregor. His father seemed to think it more
|
||
important to calm the three gentlemen before driving Gregor out, even
|
||
though they were not at all upset and seemed to think Gregor was more
|
||
entertaining than the violin playing had been. He rushed up to them
|
||
with his arms spread out and attempted to drive them back into their
|
||
room at the same time as trying to block their view of Gregor with his
|
||
body. Now they did become a little annoyed, and it was not clear
|
||
whether it was his father’s behaviour that annoyed them or the dawning
|
||
realisation that they had had a neighbour like Gregor in the next room
|
||
without knowing it. They asked Gregor’s father for explanations, raised
|
||
their arms like he had, tugged excitedly at their beards and moved back
|
||
towards their room only very slowly. Meanwhile Gregor’s sister had
|
||
overcome the despair she had fallen into when her playing was suddenly
|
||
interrupted. She had let her hands drop and let violin and bow hang
|
||
limply for a while but continued to look at the music as if still
|
||
playing, but then she suddenly pulled herself together, lay the
|
||
instrument on her mother’s lap who still sat laboriously struggling for
|
||
breath where she was, and ran into the next room which, under pressure
|
||
from her father, the three gentlemen were more quickly moving toward.
|
||
Under his sister’s experienced hand, the pillows and covers on the beds
|
||
flew up and were put into order and she had already finished making the
|
||
beds and slipped out again before the three gentlemen had reached the
|
||
room. Gregor’s father seemed so obsessed with what he was doing that he
|
||
forgot all the respect he owed to his tenants. He urged them and
|
||
pressed them until, when he was already at the door of the room, the
|
||
middle of the three gentlemen shouted like thunder and stamped his foot
|
||
and thereby brought Gregor’s father to a halt. “I declare here and
|
||
now”, he said, raising his hand and glancing at Gregor’s mother and
|
||
sister to gain their attention too, “that with regard to the repugnant
|
||
conditions that prevail in this flat and with this family”—here he
|
||
looked briefly but decisively at the floor—“I give immediate notice on
|
||
my room. For the days that I have been living here I will, of course,
|
||
pay nothing at all, on the contrary I will consider whether to proceed
|
||
with some kind of action for damages from you, and believe me it would
|
||
be very easy to set out the grounds for such an action.” He was silent
|
||
and looked straight ahead as if waiting for something. And indeed, his
|
||
two friends joined in with the words: “And we also give immediate
|
||
notice.” With that, he took hold of the door handle and slammed the
|
||
door.
|
||
|
||
Gregor’s father staggered back to his seat, feeling his way with his
|
||
hands, and fell into it; it looked as if he was stretching himself out
|
||
for his usual evening nap but from the uncontrolled way his head kept
|
||
nodding it could be seen that he was not sleeping at all. Throughout
|
||
all this, Gregor had lain still where the three gentlemen had first
|
||
seen him. His disappointment at the failure of his plan, and perhaps
|
||
also because he was weak from hunger, made it impossible for him to
|
||
move. He was sure that everyone would turn on him any moment, and he
|
||
waited. He was not even startled out of this state when the violin on
|
||
his mother’s lap fell from her trembling fingers and landed loudly on
|
||
the floor.
|
||
|
||
“Father, Mother”, said his sister, hitting the table with her hand as
|
||
introduction, “we can’t carry on like this. Maybe you can’t see it, but
|
||
I can. I don’t want to call this monster my brother, all I can say is:
|
||
we have to try and get rid of it. We’ve done all that’s humanly
|
||
possible to look after it and be patient, I don’t think anyone could
|
||
accuse us of doing anything wrong.”
|
||
|
||
“She’s absolutely right”, said Gregor’s father to himself. His mother,
|
||
who still had not had time to catch her breath, began to cough dully,
|
||
her hand held out in front of her and a deranged expression in her
|
||
eyes.
|
||
|
||
Gregor’s sister rushed to his mother and put her hand on her forehead.
|
||
Her words seemed to give Gregor’s father some more definite ideas. He
|
||
sat upright, played with his uniform cap between the plates left by the
|
||
three gentlemen after their meal, and occasionally looked down at
|
||
Gregor as he lay there immobile.
|
||
|
||
“We have to try and get rid of it”, said Gregor’s sister, now speaking
|
||
only to her father, as her mother was too occupied with coughing to
|
||
listen, “it’ll be the death of both of you, I can see it coming. We
|
||
can’t all work as hard as we have to and then come home to be tortured
|
||
like this, we can’t endure it. I can’t endure it any more.” And she
|
||
broke out so heavily in tears that they flowed down the face of her
|
||
mother, and she wiped them away with mechanical hand movements.
|
||
|
||
“My child”, said her father with sympathy and obvious understanding,
|
||
“what are we to do?”
|
||
|
||
His sister just shrugged her shoulders as a sign of the helplessness
|
||
and tears that had taken hold of her, displacing her earlier certainty.
|
||
|
||
“If he could just understand us”, said his father almost as a question;
|
||
his sister shook her hand vigorously through her tears as a sign that
|
||
of that there was no question.
|
||
|
||
“If he could just understand us”, repeated Gregor’s father, closing his
|
||
eyes in acceptance of his sister’s certainty that that was quite
|
||
impossible, “then perhaps we could come to some kind of arrangement
|
||
with him. But as it is ...”
|
||
|
||
“It’s got to go”, shouted his sister, “that’s the only way, Father.
|
||
You’ve got to get rid of the idea that that’s Gregor. We’ve only harmed
|
||
ourselves by believing it for so long. How can that be Gregor? If it
|
||
were Gregor he would have seen long ago that it’s not possible for
|
||
human beings to live with an animal like that and he would have gone of
|
||
his own free will. We wouldn’t have a brother any more, then, but we
|
||
could carry on with our lives and remember him with respect. As it is
|
||
this animal is persecuting us, it’s driven out our tenants, it
|
||
obviously wants to take over the whole flat and force us to sleep on
|
||
the streets. Father, look, just look”, she suddenly screamed, “he’s
|
||
starting again!” In her alarm, which was totally beyond Gregor’s
|
||
comprehension, his sister even abandoned his mother as she pushed
|
||
herself vigorously out of her chair as if more willing to sacrifice her
|
||
own mother than stay anywhere near Gregor. She rushed over to behind
|
||
her father, who had become excited merely because she was and stood up
|
||
half raising his hands in front of Gregor’s sister as if to protect
|
||
her.
|
||
|
||
But Gregor had had no intention of frightening anyone, least of all his
|
||
sister. All he had done was begin to turn round so that he could go
|
||
back into his room, although that was in itself quite startling as his
|
||
pain-wracked condition meant that turning round required a great deal
|
||
of effort and he was using his head to help himself do it, repeatedly
|
||
raising it and striking it against the floor. He stopped and looked
|
||
round. They seemed to have realised his good intention and had only
|
||
been alarmed briefly. Now they all looked at him in unhappy silence.
|
||
His mother lay in her chair with her legs stretched out and pressed
|
||
against each other, her eyes nearly closed with exhaustion; his sister
|
||
sat next to his father with her arms around his neck.
|
||
|
||
“Maybe now they’ll let me turn round”, thought Gregor and went back to
|
||
work. He could not help panting loudly with the effort and had
|
||
sometimes to stop and take a rest. No-one was making him rush any more,
|
||
everything was left up to him. As soon as he had finally finished
|
||
turning round he began to move straight ahead. He was amazed at the
|
||
great distance that separated him from his room, and could not
|
||
understand how he had covered that distance in his weak state a little
|
||
while before and almost without noticing it. He concentrated on
|
||
crawling as fast as he could and hardly noticed that there was not a
|
||
word, not any cry, from his family to distract him. He did not turn his
|
||
head until he had reached the doorway. He did not turn it all the way
|
||
round as he felt his neck becoming stiff, but it was nonetheless enough
|
||
to see that nothing behind him had changed, only his sister had stood
|
||
up. With his last glance he saw that his mother had now fallen
|
||
completely asleep.
|
||
|
||
He was hardly inside his room before the door was hurriedly shut,
|
||
bolted and locked. The sudden noise behind Gregor so startled him that
|
||
his little legs collapsed under him. It was his sister who had been in
|
||
so much of a rush. She had been standing there waiting and sprung
|
||
forward lightly, Gregor had not heard her coming at all, and as she
|
||
turned the key in the lock she said loudly to her parents “At last!”.
|
||
|
||
“What now, then?”, Gregor asked himself as he looked round in the
|
||
darkness. He soon made the discovery that he could no longer move at
|
||
all. This was no surprise to him, it seemed rather that being able to
|
||
actually move around on those spindly little legs until then was
|
||
unnatural. He also felt relatively comfortable. It is true that his
|
||
entire body was aching, but the pain seemed to be slowly getting weaker
|
||
and weaker and would finally disappear altogether. He could already
|
||
hardly feel the decayed apple in his back or the inflamed area around
|
||
it, which was entirely covered in white dust. He thought back of his
|
||
family with emotion and love. If it was possible, he felt that he must
|
||
go away even more strongly than his sister. He remained in this state
|
||
of empty and peaceful rumination until he heard the clock tower strike
|
||
three in the morning. He watched as it slowly began to get light
|
||
everywhere outside the window too. Then, without his willing it, his
|
||
head sank down completely, and his last breath flowed weakly from his
|
||
nostrils.
|
||
|
||
When the cleaner came in early in the morning—they’d often asked her
|
||
not to keep slamming the doors but with her strength and in her hurry
|
||
she still did, so that everyone in the flat knew when she’d arrived and
|
||
from then on it was impossible to sleep in peace—she made her usual
|
||
brief look in on Gregor and at first found nothing special. She thought
|
||
he was laying there so still on purpose, playing the martyr; she
|
||
attributed all possible understanding to him. She happened to be
|
||
holding the long broom in her hand, so she tried to tickle Gregor with
|
||
it from the doorway. When she had no success with that she tried to
|
||
make a nuisance of herself and poked at him a little, and only when she
|
||
found she could shove him across the floor with no resistance at all
|
||
did she start to pay attention. She soon realised what had really
|
||
happened, opened her eyes wide, whistled to herself, but did not waste
|
||
time to yank open the bedroom doors and shout loudly into the darkness
|
||
of the bedrooms: “Come and ’ave a look at this, it’s dead, just lying
|
||
there, stone dead!”
|
||
|
||
Mr. and Mrs. Samsa sat upright there in their marriage bed and had to
|
||
make an effort to get over the shock caused by the cleaner before they
|
||
could grasp what she was saying. But then, each from his own side, they
|
||
hurried out of bed. Mr. Samsa threw the blanket over his shoulders,
|
||
Mrs. Samsa just came out in her nightdress; and that is how they went
|
||
into Gregor’s room. On the way they opened the door to the living room
|
||
where Grete had been sleeping since the three gentlemen had moved in;
|
||
she was fully dressed as if she had never been asleep, and the paleness
|
||
of her face seemed to confirm this. “Dead?”, asked Mrs. Samsa, looking
|
||
at the charwoman enquiringly, even though she could have checked for
|
||
herself and could have known it even without checking. “That’s what I
|
||
said”, replied the cleaner, and to prove it she gave Gregor’s body
|
||
another shove with the broom, sending it sideways across the floor.
|
||
Mrs. Samsa made a movement as if she wanted to hold back the broom, but
|
||
did not complete it. “Now then”, said Mr. Samsa, “let’s give thanks to
|
||
God for that”. He crossed himself, and the three women followed his
|
||
example. Grete, who had not taken her eyes from the corpse, said: “Just
|
||
look how thin he was. He didn’t eat anything for so long. The food came
|
||
out again just the same as when it went in”. Gregor’s body was indeed
|
||
completely dried up and flat, they had not seen it until then, but now
|
||
he was not lifted up on his little legs, nor did he do anything to make
|
||
them look away.
|
||
|
||
“Grete, come with us in here for a little while”, said Mrs. Samsa with
|
||
a pained smile, and Grete followed her parents into the bedroom but not
|
||
without looking back at the body. The cleaner shut the door and opened
|
||
the window wide. Although it was still early in the morning the fresh
|
||
air had something of warmth mixed in with it. It was already the end of
|
||
March, after all.
|
||
|
||
The three gentlemen stepped out of their room and looked round in
|
||
amazement for their breakfasts; they had been forgotten about. “Where
|
||
is our breakfast?”, the middle gentleman asked the cleaner irritably.
|
||
She just put her finger on her lips and made a quick and silent sign to
|
||
the men that they might like to come into Gregor’s room. They did so,
|
||
and stood around Gregor’s corpse with their hands in the pockets of
|
||
their well-worn coats. It was now quite light in the room.
|
||
|
||
Then the door of the bedroom opened and Mr. Samsa appeared in his
|
||
uniform with his wife on one arm and his daughter on the other. All of
|
||
them had been crying a little; Grete now and then pressed her face
|
||
against her father’s arm.
|
||
|
||
“Leave my home. Now!”, said Mr. Samsa, indicating the door and without
|
||
letting the women from him. “What do you mean?”, asked the middle of
|
||
the three gentlemen somewhat disconcerted, and he smiled sweetly. The
|
||
other two held their hands behind their backs and continually rubbed
|
||
them together in gleeful anticipation of a loud quarrel which could
|
||
only end in their favour. “I mean just what I said”, answered Mr.
|
||
Samsa, and, with his two companions, went in a straight line towards
|
||
the man. At first, he stood there still, looking at the ground as if
|
||
the contents of his head were rearranging themselves into new
|
||
positions. “Alright, we’ll go then”, he said, and looked up at Mr.
|
||
Samsa as if he had been suddenly overcome with humility and wanted
|
||
permission again from Mr. Samsa for his decision. Mr. Samsa merely
|
||
opened his eyes wide and briefly nodded to him several times. At that,
|
||
and without delay, the man actually did take long strides into the
|
||
front hallway; his two friends had stopped rubbing their hands some
|
||
time before and had been listening to what was being said. Now they
|
||
jumped off after their friend as if taken with a sudden fear that Mr.
|
||
Samsa might go into the hallway in front of them and break the
|
||
connection with their leader. Once there, all three took their hats
|
||
from the stand, took their sticks from the holder, bowed without a word
|
||
and left the premises. Mr. Samsa and the two women followed them out
|
||
onto the landing; but they had had no reason to mistrust the men’s
|
||
intentions and as they leaned over the landing they saw how the three
|
||
gentlemen made slow but steady progress down the many steps. As they
|
||
turned the corner on each floor they disappeared and would reappear a
|
||
few moments later; the further down they went, the more that the Samsa
|
||
family lost interest in them; when a butcher’s boy, proud of posture
|
||
with his tray on his head, passed them on his way up and came nearer
|
||
than they were, Mr. Samsa and the women came away from the landing and
|
||
went, as if relieved, back into the flat.
|
||
|
||
They decided the best way to make use of that day was for relaxation
|
||
and to go for a walk; not only had they earned a break from work but
|
||
they were in serious need of it. So they sat at the table and wrote
|
||
three letters of excusal, Mr. Samsa to his employers, Mrs. Samsa to her
|
||
contractor and Grete to her principal. The cleaner came in while they
|
||
were writing to tell them she was going, she’d finished her work for
|
||
that morning. The three of them at first just nodded without looking up
|
||
from what they were writing, and it was only when the cleaner still did
|
||
not seem to want to leave that they looked up in irritation. “Well?”,
|
||
asked Mr. Samsa. The charwoman stood in the doorway with a smile on her
|
||
face as if she had some tremendous good news to report, but would only
|
||
do it if she was clearly asked to. The almost vertical little ostrich
|
||
feather on her hat, which had been a source of irritation to Mr. Samsa
|
||
all the time she had been working for them, swayed gently in all
|
||
directions. “What is it you want then?”, asked Mrs. Samsa, whom the
|
||
cleaner had the most respect for. “Yes”, she answered, and broke into a
|
||
friendly laugh that made her unable to speak straight away, “well then,
|
||
that thing in there, you needn’t worry about how you’re going to get
|
||
rid of it. That’s all been sorted out.” Mrs. Samsa and Grete bent down
|
||
over their letters as if intent on continuing with what they were
|
||
writing; Mr. Samsa saw that the cleaner wanted to start describing
|
||
everything in detail but, with outstretched hand, he made it quite
|
||
clear that she was not to. So, as she was prevented from telling them
|
||
all about it, she suddenly remembered what a hurry she was in and,
|
||
clearly peeved, called out “Cheerio then, everyone”, turned round
|
||
sharply and left, slamming the door terribly as she went.
|
||
|
||
“Tonight she gets sacked”, said Mr. Samsa, but he received no reply
|
||
from either his wife or his daughter as the charwoman seemed to have
|
||
destroyed the peace they had only just gained. They got up and went
|
||
over to the window where they remained with their arms around each
|
||
other. Mr. Samsa twisted round in his chair to look at them and sat
|
||
there watching for a while. Then he called out: “Come here, then. Let’s
|
||
forget about all that old stuff, shall we. Come and give me a bit of
|
||
attention”. The two women immediately did as he said, hurrying over to
|
||
him where they kissed him and hugged him and then they quickly finished
|
||
their letters.
|
||
|
||
After that, the three of them left the flat together, which was
|
||
something they had not done for months, and took the tram out to the
|
||
open country outside the town. They had the tram, filled with warm
|
||
sunshine, all to themselves. Leant back comfortably on their seats,
|
||
they discussed their prospects and found that on closer examination
|
||
they were not at all bad—until then they had never asked each other
|
||
about their work but all three had jobs which were very good and held
|
||
particularly good promise for the future. The greatest improvement for
|
||
the time being, of course, would be achieved quite easily by moving
|
||
house; what they needed now was a flat that was smaller and cheaper
|
||
than the current one which had been chosen by Gregor, one that was in a
|
||
better location and, most of all, more practical. All the time, Grete
|
||
was becoming livelier. With all the worry they had been having of late
|
||
her cheeks had become pale, but, while they were talking, Mr. and Mrs.
|
||
Samsa were struck, almost simultaneously, with the thought of how their
|
||
daughter was blossoming into a well built and beautiful young lady.
|
||
They became quieter. Just from each other’s glance and almost without
|
||
knowing it they agreed that it would soon be time to find a good man
|
||
for her. And, as if in confirmation of their new dreams and good
|
||
intentions, as soon as they reached their destination Grete was the
|
||
first to get up and stretch out her young body.
|